Chiang Rai Hash House Harriers

Chiang Rai 100th Hash Feb. 18th, 2012

2012-02-03T08:56:00.000+07:00

Chiang Rai 100th

The Chiang Rai 100th hash will be on Sat. Feb. 18th. To start of the festivities there will be a pub crawl on Friday, Feb. 17th starting at 7.30 pm. The starting point will be the park across from Condoms and Cabbage Restaurant on Thanalai Rd. GPS coordinates - 19°54'31.52"N 99°50'7.85"E Lots of parking available. We will jog/walk to 5 or 6 different drinking establishments and have a refreshment at each one. Wearing a hash shirt is mandatory. Special prizes for the best pair of un-matching knee-high socks and goofiest hat. Cost = price of alcohol you consume (clear your bill at each bar so you can piss off at any time.) If you are running late and want to catch up with the group, call Namron at 089-661-5840.

For Saturday's events gather at Rico's Bar, 19.908819° and 99.823548°, at 1 p.m. for registration and distribution of the t-shirts. Early birds have the best chance of finding a shirt that fits. From there we will progress to the boat pier for a trip to the elephant camp where Able Semen has set two routes, one easy and one less so. Rico will have complementary coffee for anyone who is still recuperating from the previous night's pub crawl or otherwise needing stimulus to wake up. His kitchen will be open for anyone wanting to order a quick lunch. We will be coming back to Rico's for the On! On! On! so this is a good place to leave things (like a change of clothing) which will not be needed again until dinner.

For all those true hashers who still have energy after two days, there may possibly be a hangover hash set by our youngest members Red Hot and Pole Dancer. Further discussion at the Sat. circle.

Hope you can come join the fun and remember it is family friendly so bring the kids.

Hash Run Repot #99 January 21, 2012

2012-01-22T13:59:00.002+07:00

The 99th CR Hash proved to be like a good beer, mellow at first blush, but with a pleasant, lingering aftertaste. None of the high drama, of, for example, the infamous outstation hash (which shall forever remain under a veil of silence), but nonetheless an enjoyable afternoon.
The first part of the walk was along a delightful forest path, not strenuous at all – as Wirgin Bluce remarked, if Shocking is in front, there must be something wrong with the difficulty level.
The second half was perhaps a touch anti-climactic, but only due to the expectations raised by the scenic first portion, and before we knew it we were back at the cars, none of which had been broken into, this being Thailand.
Some ungrateful souls suggested the walk had been too short and easy (Pat on the Back even did a push-up at the end in order to fill her exertion quota), but all in all it was agreed that the trail was well chosen and we would like to thank the hare Handcock for his efforts in clearing the path, he still has the scars to prove it. The usual suspects came in first, namely Namron, Fired Up, Able Semen, Flying Dutchman and Crash.
Numbers at this hash were modest, to the extent that the majority of the attendees were called Molly, which spurred our wordsmiths to crowbar the words “mollify” and “mollycoddle” into their Circle orations, very droll.
Five virgins were inducted into our sect, Red Hot from NY, Pole Dancer from Oregon, Lost Potato from Idaho [this is a state in the US], and Barely Able and Barely Legal from the Philippines. Our Filipino inductees seemed slightly nervous in anticipation of what initiation rites the red-faced brutes would make them go through, and were visibly relieved after the naming ceremony was over.
Able Semen was extremely warm and welcoming towards our new members Red Hot and Pole Dancer, at which point they began claiming that they were leaving the country shortly and wouldn’t really be coming to that many more hashes. Hmmm.
It must be mentioned that newcomers, Janey from Canada and Sh”*ç%”ç% from Japan did go through a truly cruel and unnatural hazing ritual (voluntarily!), namely drinking glasses of Coca Cola down in one.
The Circle was held in the middle of a road, but members did allow the public to pass, and even greeted some of them, in the vernacular (“Sawatdikup”). Let it never be said that members of the CR Hash do no engage with the local community.
Our GM, the aptly named Shocking, was as usual an MC extraordinaire, and I don’t care what anyone says behind his back, it doesn’t matter if most people can’t understand him, it’s the thought that counts. After some time we had a switch to received pronunciatim Able Semen, and then Wirgin Bluce took over and injected his customary gravitas into the proceedings. Various administrative matters were dealt with, such as the next confirmed hares: Able Semen in Feb, Scotch on the Rocks and Cop Out in March, Lost Samurai in May and Special Needs and Special Services in Oct, but the important point to remember is that Brain Health committed to funding 4 (four) cases of whichever beer is chosen for the 100th hash, regardless of how many bottles there are in each case.

On! On!Comes Twice
Hash Scribe (Pro Bono)

Driving Instructions to the January 21 Hash

2012-01-13T18:13:00.000+07:00

The Chiangrai January hash will begin at 3.30pm on Sat 21 Jan. Computer literates types can see the start point here. The coordinates are 19°59'23.05"N 99°46'15.65"E for satnav types. A Google Earth .kmz is attached.

(Those with long memories will recall Helping Hand's 2007 route in this area.)

Beginning at the Little Duck Hotel go north along the Asian Highway and then turn left at the first road (traffic lights) you come to after passing over the Kok River.

Continue along this road (passing the Phowadol Hotel on your right) approx 5 km until you reach a T-junction and then turn
right (HHH sign).

You are now heading north along Road no 1207.

After about 5 km you will come to another T-junction. Here you
turn right (HHH sign) and continue to follow the main road (don't turn left to the Huai Mae
Sai waterfalls).

Continue until you reach kilometer stone 12 (these markers are on your right).

Turn into the dirt road on your right (HHH sign) and go about a kilometer towards Ban Suksasem.

Park where the road reaches a Y junction where the right branch leads up a hill and the left branch becomes a very rough road.

Plan on 40 minutes drive from the Little Duck Hotel to this site assuming no traffic jam.

For more information contact Hand Cock (Paul Hancock) at 66 (0) 861 940 922 or pmchancock@gmail.com

Report of the Christmas Hash: Saturday, December 17, 2011

2012-01-13T18:05:00.002+07:00

Location: Able Semen abode in Sang Nong Bua village

Hares: Able Semen assisted by Bare Back Rider and Khun Dang

Forty-eight hashers should up for the Christmas hash including 21 men, all foreigners, 18 women, mostly Thai and 10 children. There was no difficulty getting them together as they immediately gravitated to the spacious tent to escape the sun which still beamed warmly at the 3 pm launching time. The challenge was to get them to leave the plastic chairs in which they comfortably ensconced themselves.

Ever ready to provide leadership when it is most desperately needed, your faithful correspondent was the first to start off and led the pack for at least a kilometer until the notorious Nam Ron, urged on by Immaculate Conception, Soreasses and Virgin Fred, abandoned his off-spring and finally caught up. The others followed in the usual disorderly fashion.

Conspicuously present among the following crowd was Bang Cock Chris who never content to walk on his own two feet brought two walking sticks which might conceivably serve as crutches. However in the process of extending the lengths, he managed to disassemble them. Then Scotch on the Rocks leap to the rescue on condition that she got to use one. Once they were repaired, Second Hand Sally observed that she had twisted her ankle. The only one not interested in gallant Bang Cock’s walking sticks was Cop Out who knew that these sticks were too short to provide her satisfaction.

The trail was an A to B to A each lap being 5.5 kilometers. To everyone’s surprise Flying Dutchman now reincarnated after eight months absence managed to arrive at point B just moments ahead of this truthful witness. That last hill however was too much for him and once he spied the hare’s two vehicles hidden in the woods he refused to go a step further. This set an unfortunate example eagerly embraced by all who followed.

Ever conscious of his responsibility to witness all that might transpire, you faithful readers will be relieved to know that your diligent scribe resisted the temptation to rest and persisted along the trail to glory. Shortly after leaving point B he found himself lost in the middle of a field without paper. It seems our frugal hare chose this moment in the middle of a corn field to save on paper. Fortunately Virgin Fred was still within earshot and was able to lead him back to the straight and narrow. In fact only four hashers went beyond point B. Nam Ron and Immaculate Conception managed to find their way back following paper and were rewarded by a filthy tramp through a swamp for their efforts. Knowing that preparation is the key to success, Virgin Fred bought a house immediately behind the Able Semen spread one month before so he could study the land. Thus he and your devoted reporter managed to arrive back at A with dry feet and in spite of the lack of paper.

Meanwhile back at point B, the hare fearing some heart attack might floor our courageous leader, Able Semen showed Shocking how to avoid the hill. All those following in his enormous wake, including Pat on the Back, Superglue, Hom Noi, Sperm Bank, Missed Period and the three Powder Puffs eagerly took unfair advantage of this inside information.

Now back under the tent at Able Semen residence, Shocking called the circle to order to deal with the usual business. The assistant hare, John Robinson was named “Bareback Rider” in recognition of his skills as a professional horse trainer. His better half Noi Nah in turn received the name “Lady Godiva” in view of her legendary equestrian skills. Finally Sean, son of this honest scribe, Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman became “Immaculate Conception.”

Nam Ron splashed the four teachers for significantly reducing the average age of our group. Wirgin Bluce then condemned them and everyone like them for failing to wear a hash t-shirt. Instead of being inspired by grace and beauty of Nearly Virgin Joi who appeared for her second hash in an award-winning, S2ATO hash t-shirt, it seems these lost souls were led astray by the deployable sartorial example of Special Needs and Special Services who after so many hashes still dress as though they are special. Able Semen concluded the circle by splashing special guest star Nii, wife of the local village headman, who contrary to all hash etiquette, two years ago provided lift to On Fire, Wirgin Bluce, Hand Cock and Helping Hand.

Immediately after the circle, Dang, the better half of Able Semen, provided a wonderful Thai food buffet which the hungry masses consumed totally along with all the beer, soft drinks and every other edible thing which could be found.

The annual Christmas gift giving followed. Everyone brought a present to exchange except Thaitanic and Iceberg who had become so attached to the gifts they had bought that they left them at home. At just the right moment Santa appeared. Some suspect that this Santa might be Dirty Dancer but don’t tell anyone especially Ranger who accused Santa of being a fake. This Santa however convincing demonstrated that no one needs to study at Penn State University in order to create excitement. It was an unforgiveable performance.

Notes by Hash Sec Wirgin Bluce

The Christmas Hash, Saturday, 17th December 2011

2011-12-13T17:38:00.000+07:00

The 98th Running of the
Chiang Rai S2ATO Family Friendly Hash
The Christmas Hash, Saturday, 17th December 2011
Hare: Able Semen

According to custom and practice, the Christmas Hash has started and finished at a private house. For some years, Well Oiled and Oiled Well put on a splendid party at their home to mark the occasion. Last year, Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman did exactly the same at their home. This year, for reasons which I now find totally incomprehensible, I agreed to hare the Christmas Hash and so the event will be staged at my home. I do not intend to try to rival either of my predecessors mentioned above but there will be food laid on (traditional Xmas fare such as fried rice, sweet and sour etc.) and, despite a very heavy schedule at this time of year, Father Christmas has agreed to try to put in an appearance.

First of all then, I need to know rough numbers so that people do not leave the premises unfed. Can you please email me back setting out whether you will be attending and how many will be in your party. If I can have this info by Tuesday noontime, then that would be ideal. Many thanks.

Next, the days are at their shortest at this time of year and so it will be advisable for us to start no later than 3pm. There will be a long and a short(er) trail and I would estimate 1.5+ hours to complete the route. Therefore aim to be at my place around 2.45.

OK, now on to the driving directions. It has to be said that my place is not the easiest to find - ask Well Oiled and I am sure that he will concur. Wherever you start from, get on to the Old Chiang Mai Road (or OCMR) and proceed southwards (ie in the direction of Chiang Mai) and watch out for kilometre stone 13 which is on the right hand side of the road.

If approaching by the Superhighway, proceed south until you reach the White Temple traffic lights at Ban Rong Khun. Turn right here and proceed for about 5 kilometres to the end of this road (technically this is a cross road but the road ahead is very small). Turn left here. You are now on the OCMR. Start looking out for KS 13 which will come up on your right after 800 metres.

Remember - it is the number facing the road which you should note. There are actually three numbers on these stones. Use the one facing the road.

Slow down here. After some 2-300 metres, you will see a flashing yellow light on the left side of the road. There is a turning to the left here (it is the first turning to the left after the kilometre stone). Turn left. There will be a Hash sign posted here. Carry on for about two kilometres until you see a white water tower on your right. Turn sharp right here. There will be another helpfully positioned Hash sign here. Carry on for a further kilometre and you will find my house on the left, with yet another Hash sign at the gate.

My number is 083 762 3267 in the most unlikely event that these directions do not work!

Once you have arrived, congratulations, you have passed the first initiative test. The second is parking! Car parking at my place is not great. I have a big area of grass but it has sprinklers all over it which makes getting in and, especially, out quite difficult. There are also a couple of adjacent fields. Access to one is very tricky and I do not wish to use the other since the owner is in Singapore and I am unable to ask his approval. The only viable option is to use the road outside the house. I have told the local head man that he can expect some congestion on the day and he simply asked that we park as far to the side of the road as we are able.

If travelling by motorcycle, then please use the garden to park up. However, take care on the drive. I have just regravelled it and used too much stone so motorcycles tend to be a bit unsteady on it at present. It needs a good fall of rain!

This being Christmas, Santa Claus has a special request. Every adult should bring a wrapped present for exchange not over 200 Baht in value. These will be numbered and then corresponding numbers drawn out of a hat for presentation by Santa himself. If what you get is not appropriate for you then you can trade it afterwards. Parents can bring a gift for each of their children with his or her name on it for distribution by Santa as well. We have done this the past three years and it has been a lot of fun.

Finally please remember to get back to me by reply by Tuesday to let me know if you are coming or not so I can organize the food etc.

Hope to see you all on the 17th.
On! On!
Able Semen

8th Anniversary HHH Run Report #97 November 19, 2011

2011-11-20T21:43:00.000+07:00

Location: Wild Woman House, Santiburi Golf Course

Our latest hash starting time was set for 15.00h („winter“ schedule, haha), yet at 14.40 a line of limousines was already parked in front of our hosts’ home. No doubt a combination of their well-deserved reputation for hospitality and the refined setting both contributed to the high turnout. There was a palpable frisson of anticipation in the air.

Wirgin Bluce was kind enough to give a long and pedantic explanation of the ‘rules’ for the benefit of the virgins. Thank you, thank you. Finally the fog has lifted for many hashers.

There were indeed a number of unfamiliar faces, including some picturesque young specimens from our host country (daughters? girlfriends? so hard to tell) as well as some healthy competition for them from the Disunited States. Likewise it was good to see some old faces like Smoked Wiener who floated out of Bangkok on the floods plus Scotch on the Rocks and Sperm Bank who migrate from the north as the weather turns cold. Accompanying Sperm Bank were his missus, Missed Period and their three beautiful Powder Puffs who travelled all the way from Phaya Mengrai. Once Well Oiled and Oiled Well finally appeared, habitually twenty minutes late, everyone knew the moment to depart had arrived and, without further ado, the group headed out.

The new scribe did not wish his genuine journalistic interest to be misconstrued, so no contact was made and detailed fabrications regarding the virgins will have to wait until a later date. Nonetheless it is worth observing that Doesn't Work (alias Crash) enticed ‘Chompoo’ (this is a real name, not a hash name) to attend for the first time.

The excuse for our get-together, sorry, the Walk, did not disappoint. The landscape was charming, and thanks to crafty Wirgin Bluce’s numerous false trails we were able to admire all parts of it at least twice. The staff of the Santiburi had thoughtfully combed the path beforehand, so there was far less trash along the way than we are accustomed to, apart from the shredded paper that we ourselves deposited (and which is NOT biodegradable, so the trail is conveniently reuseable), and one eyesore of a house whose feckless inhabitants had omitted to remove the spare tyres and other detritus littering their yard before our passage through said yard.

At the beginning of the Walk, for reasons unkown, some hash-smokers, er, hash harriers, chose to walk along the ridges in the rice paddies rather than over the perfectly good path. From a distance the effect was akin to watching someone walk through a snake at the airport, but without there actually being a snake. The farmers tending to their fields did not pay any attention to this strange behaviour and continued with their tasks, either because they had been briefed by our hosts not to stare at the guests, or because they are accustomed to eccentric behaviour due to the proximity of the golf course.

About three quarters of the way, the trail divided into two routes the long one being 50% longer than the short way. The hare forwarned the group that only runners should attempt the long version. Gorf, Do It Yourself, Soreasses, Able Semen and Rubber plus his girlfriend Teng went for the challenge. One check which seemed to go forward with misleading bits of paper, actually required backtracking and that kept these FRBs searching for 15 minutes. Eventually this group found the way forward and arrived back just before the walkers. Unfortunately not everyone heeded the hare's advice. One walker, the Lost Samurai, lived up to his name, but not as much as his companion, Nok Easy whom he cunningly sent out ahead of him on kamikaze missions through prickly bonsai bushes. They eventually returned to home base 45 minutes after the others.

Finally back at base everyone was more than ready for the festivities to begin. A suspiciously high number of participants turned up only for the party. Nam Ron wins the prize for the most fantastical excuse. Apparently a cat hit his bicycle so he couldn’t make it for the Walk. Nonetheless all were made to feel welcome. Nothing was omitted, right down to lifejackets in order to prevent any unfortunate declines in membership numbers. And of course the swimming element provided the additional treat of seeing some of our fellow hashers, such as Hand Cock, in far more detail than we would have ever imagined. Nevertheless, everyone seemed to have a good appetite and the buffet was most popular thanks to the efforts of Wild Woman, Pat on the Back, Men Noie, Oiled Well and Thaitanic. A valiant attempt was made by Shocking to cover the costs of this extravaganza through the sale of t-shirts, but the results were inconclusive, possibly due to the current financial crisis. Or due to the t-shirts.

The business section of the gathering was soon done. On Fire was elected Hash Cash and Nam Ron eagerly assumed the task of Hash Beer. Comes Twice was congratulated on adding two more hashers to our community thanks the efficiency delivery of his wife Jolly Molly. No sooner than he had departed to rejoin his new loved ones, then the group promptly elected him Hash Scribe. Able Semen became Hash Trails and finally, but also least, Shocking was elected Grand Master after he complained that he had been serving in this capacity for ten months without election.

A wonderful time was had by one and all and a final piece of good news is that now that Wirgin Bluce has so much more time on his hands following his relinquishment of the hash scribbler job, he has expressed the wish to host the hashes every month until further notice. (Dream on! on!)

Comes Twice
Hash scribe

Nb: ‘any resemblance to real events or people is purely coincidental’

8th Anniversary Hash Saturday Novlember 19 at 3 pm

2011-11-12T10:34:00.000+07:00

Wild Woman and I are organizing the 8th anniversary hash at our house (again) on Saturday ie November 19. We will begin at 3 pm so that after the run, the young at heart will have an opportunity to go swimming and paddling (two boats) on the big pond in front of our house. Bring a swim suit and a towel. We have life-preservers for the kids.
With Pat-on-the- Back's help, Wild Woman plans to put up a spaghetti dinner so it would help if you let us know by Wednesday if you are coming and how many people are coming with you. There will be a choice of vegetarian and meat sauces so please indicate in your response to me (at kennedyhb@hotmail.com) which you would prefer.
To get to the Wild Woman house, starting from Big C head south along the Super Highway and then turn left at the traffic lights. This is highway 1020 to Thoerng. Follow this road to the first traffic lights (about 6 km) where you will turn left again. Two kilometers along that road will bring you to Santiburi Golf Course which you cannot miss on your right. Enter the complex and turn right at the t-junction. This is a ring road which goes all the way around the complex. Carry along that road for 2 km never turning left. You will reach a small lake on your left. My place is on a pennisula sticking into this lake. You can't miss the cars parked out in front.
As this is the anniversary hash, this is your opportunity to vote out the committee which has been mismanaging our affairs since November last year. Those refusing to serve once nominated will be punished with a down down. The lofty positions up for election are in declining order of importance are:
1. Hash Beer
2. Hash Cash
3. Hash Scribe
4. Grand Master

On! On!
Wirgin Bluce

Report of HHH Run# 96: Saturday, October 15, 2011

2011-10-18T18:12:00.002+07:00

Location: Baan Fanta Luang near Wat Jom Sak 2.5 km west of the Superhighway just before Macro

Hare: Fired Up and On Fire

Despite the controversy surrounding the previous event, 23 intrepid hashers appeared one more time. The two hares, Fired Up and On Fire, ensured that no such criticism would be leveled at them by searching out a trail which was absolutely flat and without a leaf of grass which might stain a shoe. However through some oversight they failed to ensure that the day was clear of rain. Your faithful correspondent regrets to report that dirt from the mud roads did stick to his boots and this required some cleaning afterwards.
Able Semen and Doesn’t Work (Crash) rushed ahead oblivious to where paper may lead. Soreasses was foolish enough to follow them. When suddenly they broke from their reverie to discover that no one had seen paper for 10 minutes, they had to back track for a half kilometer. Later back in the circle Do It Yourself complained that these three had become so self-absorbed that they neglected to kick out the checks. Among the victims were the Lost Samurai and Nok Easy who guessed wrong. Nam Ron avoided all mistakes by pretending to supervise Ranger, Buffalo Bill and No Name.
With the coming of cool weather, Scotch on the Rocks emerged from the north dragging compatriots Virgins Gale and Kelly with her. Cop Out stayed close by her side to ensure that these wild Scots did no harm.
Meanwhile a name change may be due for Johnny Walker who ended up not far behind the FRBs. Likewise the Special Needs-Special Services duo surprised everyone by mysteriously appearing early at the finish line.
Shocking became so enthralled by the trial that he walked right by the end point. Not far behind were Pat on the Back and the inevitable Super Glue who made no such mistake.
At the circle thereafter our favourite GM ever thanked the hares of this run, Fired Up and On Fire, and Nam Ron for the most memorable September hash. He managed to squeeze these details in between the offer of t-shirts and the formation of an orderly queue of eager purchasers. Scotch on the Rocks splashed this truthful reporter for setting an alarm on his beautiful new car so all could appreciate his recent affluence and aesthetics. Finally the group refused to name Nearly Virgin Neil “Doesn’t Work”which would honour his early retirement as an internet blogger. Instead this democracy perversely insisted on anticipating the future by calling him “Crash.”
On! On!
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce

Saturday Oct 15 hash at 3:30 pm driving instructions

2011-10-10T12:35:00.002+07:00

So, from Big 'C' head North on highway 1, direction Mae Sai, go over the river bridge, keep travelling North towards Bandu, the turning you require is 7.3 km from Big 'C'. After about 5.5 km you should pass an ESSO filling station, on your left, then a Shell filling station also on your left and a 24 hour LPG filling station. Once you see the 24 Hour LPG filing station start to slow down as you will shortly be turning left, just before the turn is HUNTER ENGINEERING and a covered car lot, HHH sign will be placed here from about 14.00.

Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km, after the first kilometre you should be able to see a large Temple on your right hand side in the distance, that's where you are heading for. Once you reach the Temple, follow the road round to the right HHH sign here for about 200 metres then keeping on the same road, turn left HHH sign here, go up the the hill and the start/finish is on your right hand side HHH sign.
For anyone coming from the North direction, the turn off you require is the first right turn after passing the airport turn off & MAKRO. Cross straight over and follow the directions above from "Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km".
Extra bonus for Satnav users, latitude 19.955620 - longitude 99.831018, maybe ok, taken from a Blackberry using Google Maps.

Sounds straightforward, but if you have any problems finding the start/finish my mobile is 0843286926, English only & Wi's mobile is 0832032607 Thai & English.

All are welcome and we start at 15.25 with instructions from the Hares, then off sharp at 15.30. The start is early, just in case the weather turns bad, it gets dark early and this course is not as demanding as the previous HASH.

Report of HHH Run# 95: Saturday, September 18, 2011

2011-09-30T10:52:00.000+07:00

Hash House Harriers

The Chiangrai “Start slowly and taper off “ Hash

S2ATO the Family Friendly Hash

Founded 15 November 2003

Report of HHH Run# 95: Saturday, September 18, 2011

Location: At the foot of Doi Tung off rural route 1149

Hare: Nam Ron, Big Bic and Yes She Will

Twenty-nine intrepid hashers gathered in the backs of pick up trucks for the short ride from the Pang Sarapee Green Resort to the foot of Doi Tung. No one imagined that the merciful gods which had held back the threatening skies all day would allow the rains to affect the virtuous family-friendly hash. However they must have detected some sinners amongst the blessed group for the heavens did indeed open up and the rains did fall torrentially upon both the good and evil in equal measure. Naturally one immediately wonders who among this otherwise fine group could have brought upon it such a punishment which was as brutal as it was unusual. Could it have been one of the seven visiting hashers from Chiangmai like Sleep On It, Proping Ninja or Sleep On It? Or maybe the sinner is Humper Dick, Hollow Legs or Gets Wet who also come from Chiangmai. Skid Marks likewise looked guilty. Thoughts also turned to the Virgin Family Reich of four freshly out from Florida.

In the deluge and resulting confusion, the hares forgot where the trail began and drove beyond the turn off. You can imagine the joy among hashers as they shivered in the rain while the hares tried to figure what to do next. Eventually we arrived at a mud sodden lane where Nam Ron declared the dreaded words, “The trial begins here!”

Hardy souls like the Chiangmai Seven, Do It Yourself, Nearly Virgin Rose, Paddy Boy and Fired Up immediately set off in defiance of the elements. More discrete individuals like the perpetual G.M. Shocking, Comes Twice and Special Needs hid in the truck cab as witnessed by your devoted scribe who also remained there to accurately record their cowardly deeds. Five minutes later the rains stopped and eventually the secreted ones risked leaving their refuge. That is when Special Needs suddenly discovered that for the first time since arriving in Thailand he is without the constant ministrations of Special Services. Totally disoriented he rashly set off in the direction of paper in desperate hopes of finding succor.

Special Needs was not the only one in need of support that day. The trial headed steeply up hill and then an equally steep gradient downwards to be repeated over three peaks and valleys. The scenery was magnificent but few hashers had the opportunity to appreciate the verdant landscape so focused were they on where their feet were slipping. Special Needs was wise enough to bring a walking stick. Fired Up had sufficient resourcefulness to grab a stick along the way. Your faithful correspondent fell on his back and nearly cracked his head open. Fortunately the land was soft.

After the first hill, Shocking persuaded himself that despite the absence of paper, the trial must lie along a road somewhere. The devoted Pat on the Back and son Super Glue fearing that they might lose their colossal companion followed in his enormous wake. Nam Ron eventually discovered them on the Super Highway headed towards Mae Sai.

For this particular event Nam Ron took it upon himself to set a number of false trials in addition to circle checks. This made it difficult for FRB’s to clearly indicate to those behind where the trial led. Consequently each group had to find its own way forward. The result was that while the FRB’s finished in 50 minutes, the last ones in (Soreasses, Marmalaid, Special Needs, Special Services) required 2 hours and 15 minutes.

The FRB’s were not complaining. The trial ended at the Big Bic compound which is one of the most beautiful spots in Chiang Rai province. Moreover there was a swimming pool and Big Bic had outfitted the French Mediterranean style house with a pool table and ping pong table for those who remained sober enough to use them.

In recognizing our seven visitors from the Chiang Mai hash, the perpetual G.M. reminded the circle that this is a family hash and anyone who doesn’t like free speech is free to bugger off. We then proceeded to toast the hares, the virgins and elect names for the newcomers as follows. Appreciating the positive “can do” posture of Preng and her special link to Big Bic alias “Will” she acquired the name “Yes She Will.” Likewise the group admired the stamina which made Jolly Molly doubly pregnant and therefore gave Christian the name “Comes twice.”

In expressing his appreciation for the trail Soreasses congratulated the hares upon creating an environment which risked terminating any unsuspecting hasher. The G.M. then turned to the circle over to our visitors from Chiang Mai who gave up when they discovered that there was no beer remaining for more “down downs.”

The fun and games continued well into the night following the On! On! On! at the Pang Sarapee Green Resort.

Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce

Driving Directions for Sat. Sept. 17 Hash

2011-09-05T11:49:00.004+07:00

UPDATE as of Sept. 13th:

The parking and starting area will be at the Pangsarapee Green Resort 20°16'15.05"N, 99°50'25.72"E

Please be in the parking lot by 3:30 p.m. The truck will leave at 3:45 so the run can start at 4 pm.

For the location map - http://wikimapia.org/#lat=20.2706263&lon=99.8398125&z=18&l=0&m=b

Allow yourself one hour to drive from downtown Chiang Rai. Head north on the superhighway, go about 13 km past Mae Chan until you come to Huay Krai Village. Turn left at the first traffic light, towards Doi Tung. Go approx. 2 km. The resort will be on your right. The bungalows have a white roof.

If you plan to come back the same day and would like a ride to and from the ride, contact Sven (Do It Yourself) at 089-997-7574.

Report of HHH Run# 94: Saturday, August 20, 2011

2011-09-05T11:30:00.001+07:00

Founded 15 November 2003

Location: Behind Don’s Café not far from the In Cee Stupa

Hares: SoreArseIHas and Marmalaid with special input by Able Semen

The day began as a wash out and the rain persisted all morning. The hares laid the trail then had to keep relaying it until the crowds passed. Despite the ominous weather 24 hashers showed up to brave the elements. Fortunately the rain tapered off to drizzle as the appointed hour drew near. A few gallant hashers like your faithful correspondent carried umbrellas to shade the trail from the heavenly waters however briefly.

At the very first check the irrepressible FRB, Nam Ron stumbled upon the homeward trial before the intended path forward could be found. So everyone responded to the resounding “On! On!” and hence the trip was done in reverse. In the process we came upon Able Semen still laying trail but headed in the opposite direction. Consequently all the clever traps designed by the hares proved utterly useless and the usual FRBs like On Fire, Virgin Neale and Do It Yourself returned to home base in record time. Not among them was Big Bic who responded to an urgent call of nature. He chose a spot which he thought was far from the beaten track. It turns out however that our creative hares had scattered more paper on a false trail

just the other side of tree he squatted bare-assed behind. Grasping desperately at whatever grasses came to hand, he disappeared deeper into the woods before Fired Up, Nok Easy, and their followers stumbled upon him.

Two cows and their calves were minding their own business chewing grass beside the road when Bushwacker decided that such Buddhist placidity just won’t do. So he got them riled up just as the four mosquiteers came into sight. Wild Bill, No Name and Johnny Walker managed to slip by unobtrusively but Ranger was struck dumb with terror. This generated a rare moment of paternal compassion in Nam Ron who actually sacrificed his moment of glory at the head of the pack in order to rescue his son.

Meanwhile the rift raft continued to struggle along the muddy path. Talk about the blind leading the blind, the Lost Samurai headed this lot until at last he confessed that he hadn’t seen paper for ages. At that point the ever resourceful Shocking got out his phone and called Able Semen for help. In the meantime Pat on the Back and her inseparable son Super Glue started retracing their steps followed by everyone except Big Bic and his Virgin Pleng. About 300 meters back Fat Cat while sniffing after daughter Kitty Kat and Virgin Yao stumbles upon paper heading off into a rice paddy. About a kilometer into this sticky mess we suddenly discover Big Bic and Virgin Pleng running up ahead of us. It seems they had found another false trail and followed back to its origin.

Back at the circle Special Services was discovered hosing down Special Needs. (see picture below)

Anticipating a baptism Fat Cat removed his new mud-encrusted shoes and hid them in his car. Marmalaid produced banana cake and fruit to complement the usual potato chips. Soreasses announced that the On! On! On! organized at Don’s Café was scheduled to begin in 10 minutes so Shocking ran the fastest circle ever. In the rush to finish he neglected to announce the sale of t-shirts which disappointed all those who anticipated fat profits reselling these prized objects on e-Bay. However he did not forget to call for name nominations. Thus it is the man responsible for all the cigarette lighters littering Thailand became known as “Big Bic” and young Michael declared himself “Johnny Walker” to honour his father’s favourite drink.

Appended to this report is the report of the GM/Hash Cash pro tem who admits that although he thoroughly indulged himself at the On! On! On! he maintains that his behaviour did not affect our group’s financial position.

Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce

Driving Instructions to the August 20 Hash beginning at 4 pm

2011-08-12T14:46:00.002+07:00

The August Chiang Rai Hash is timed to start at 4 pm on the 20^th.  The route is approximately 6.8 kms of primarily flat terrain, with one short steep hill, a few trail inclines, a few rice paddy ridges, and field and cornfield trails.  Much of the route will be muddy if it has rained.  There are about 1.8 kms of paved road.  Overall the route is safe for rainy season.  The route should be considered average by our past HHH experiences.  The route begins and ends at our house so we can have shelter for the circle.

Starting from the flashy clock tower heading west you wind around the road at its end and then take the first left over Chiangmai Gate bridge. This puts you on Old Chiang Mai Road (Highway 1211) along which you proceed south about 1.5 kms until you reach the second set of traffic lights in Den Haa.  Turn right here.  Continue on about 8 kms along this road until you reach Don’s café on the left side of the road.  Follow any Pra Soet Hot Springs, LamNamKok National Park, and Doi In Cee Stupa signs to Don’s Café.

(If approaching from south of CR, turn left at the first set of lights after the 1211 six lane stretch after The Sixties bar.)

At Don’s Café there is a slip road to the left.  There will be an HHH sign here.  Take this slip road and continue for about 400 meters. You will then see a blue sign pointing to the left to Doi In Cee Stupa and a white statue of Buddha carrying a parasol.  Turn left here. There will be another HHH sign.  Continue for 300 meters as you enter Baan Doi Hang Nai.  Turn left at Soi 1 across from the temple. As you proceed straight, the paved road will become gravel and pass a blue roofed house on the right.  The road will lead directly into our driveway.  Our home is the first of four mint green structures.  Motorcycles can park in our driveway, but vehicles will need to line the soi before entering House of Union property of which our house is a part.

Our mobile numbers are 086.069.0992 and 086.069.0994 in case of questions.

An On On On is planned at Don’s Café at 6pm.  The buffet will cost 200 baht per adult with children under 12 free.  Reservations will need to be sent to grosser.debbie@gmail.com by 2pm the 19^th.

Report of HHH Run# 93: Saturday, July 16, 2011

2011-08-08T10:21:00.002+07:00

Location: At the Boomerang Climbing Park, north shore of Kok River west of Nam Laat between the two Buddha caves

Hare: Hand Cock

The afternoon began inauspiciously with heavy rain which persisted as the meeting hour drew near. Despite these unfavorable omens, twenty-five intrepid hashers gathered for the monthly outing. These included 15 adult males, four women and six kids.

Hand Cock, the hare, promised mushy wanderings. He did not disappoint. The trail soon left the paved road and headed straight through ankle-deep ponds. Foolish front-runners like Fired Up, Do It Yourself and our founder Brain Health determined to stay in front and believing this pond would be only the first of many ran straight through while the more cautious people like the Lost Samurai, Soreassis, Special Needs and Special Services made a wide circuit and saved their boots a lot of grief. Fortunately the hare had anticipated bad weather and mostly kept the trail on gravel roads.

These roads led into the hills which line the north shore of the Kok River and form a big oblong circle which brought us eventually back to the starting point. However following the paper was no an easy task. The environmentalists eager to eliminate litter, conspired with our miserly mismanagers to reduce the hare’s allocation of paper to the absolute minimum. So the few strands he had frugally scattered about the countryside soon dissolved in the torrential downpour which followed his trail-setting. However we were inspired by the technique of special guest star Ring Worm on loan from the City of Angels who steadfastly stood at each check while the FRBs searched the way forward.

Back in the circle Ring Worm and Peter Gibbs were honored as “Almost Virgins.” For Peter it was his second run after a long interlude. Ring Worm had co-hared the inaugural run along with Brain Health and your faithful correspondent but on that occasion he neglected his sweeping duties after breaking a foot-bone and never came back. As usual Shocking attracted a lot of attention but this time the eagle-eyed Nam Ron noticed that he was wearing new boots. This called for a baptism. So Nam Ron emptied an entire can of Leo beer into the filthy shoe which Shocking promptly downed with the encouragement of Pat-on-the Back and Superglue.

In anticipation of the next hash, Christian, the Swiss-German banker responsible for Molly Polly’s current double pregnancy and Will, a flogger of new cigarette-lighters were called into the circle for a preliminary confession which would lead to a naming ceremony next time. The young niece of Nok Easy was invited to name herself. “Just Jane” was her eloquent reply.

Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

Directions to Hash on Jul 16th 2011 at 4 PM

2011-07-13T19:20:00.002+07:00

Directions from Big C - count 20 mins
(NB There will be as many HHH signs as I can find):

a) head north on the superhighway heading towards Mae Chan. Pass the Mengrai/Haayaek junction and cross the Mae Kok river bridge.

b) at the first traffic lights after the bridge, turn left (sign "Huay Khom" route 1207). Reset your kilometer/odometer to 0.

c) pass straight through the first lights, and after 1.8km, pass the turning to the left signposted to Rimkok Hotel and prepare to turn left at the next cross roads (360 m further on, 2.26km from traffic lights) where there will an HHH sign.

d) after turning left, follow the road for 1km (total 3.26 km from traffic lights) until you come to a slightly offset crossroads.

e) at the crossroads, go straight across (actually, slightly offset to the left). This is the road out to the Buddha caves for those of you in the know - another HHH sign

f) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park " (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.

2. Directions from the west of CR
For those coming from the south or south-west and who don't want to go all the way east to the superhighway:

a) cross the river on the Mae Fah Luang Bridge (the non-superhighway bridge just to the west of the Rimkok Hotel/Dusit Island Hotel) and reset your kilometer/odometer to 0

b) continue north after crossing the bridge 1km when you will come a crossroads with a sign marked "Buddha Cave" to the left - turn left here (HHH sign).

c) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park" (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.

If you have any problems, or need a lift organised, call me on 0861 940 922.

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: there may be some water/mud involved in this run, so please wear appropriately old footwear.

Chiangrai Family Friendly Hash Report No. 92, from June 18, 2011

2011-06-28T13:07:00.004+07:00

Location near Huay Sak Reservoir

Hares: Brain Health & Just Perfect

After a long absence as hare, Brain Health took the reigns because Paddy Boy had conscripted him three months prior. Since Brain Health had no say in the matter, he proceeded to take out his vengeance by beating the s**t out of the hashers – setting a near record number of checks, taking us on muddy roads, up hills, through a village with dogs at every house and if that wasn’t enough, through tracks lined with “mai ya lap” or chicken scream vines on both sides so that with one false step you would be scarred for life. 34 innocent hashers consisting of 9 virgins, 6 children and an even split of males and females turned up, not knowing what Brain Health had in store. To make matters worse, Brain Health had enlisted the services of two young lads (keep your mind out of the gutter) to run in front of the FRBs and pretend to guide them on the correct path only to lead them astray.

The checks were very successful, leading the FRBs in the wrong direction nearly every time. SoreAssIis and Do It Yourself learned the hard way that following the local lads would quickly lead you astray and Fired up & Virgin Will managed to take the lead. The route went out of a village, across some fields, onto an irrigation khlong with some missing cover pieces to act as hazards, onto a dirt road and then onto a small farming trail that took us up to a summit overlooking the reservoir. As we dropped down onto the dam, Brain Health was there with his whip threatening the hashers to keep running or bear the consequences. Most of the hashers continued on but a few broke under the stress including Shocking, Dream, Lye, No Name and Ranger who opted to take the short cut back along the road. As the main group got to the On-On there was a panic because when the saw Shocking with a beer in hand, comfortably seated near the ice chest, they were sure there would be no beer left. Luckily Do It Yourself had hidden an ice chest that Shocking hadn’t found. Shocking’s rather dubious account can be read here (The hare had informed the hashers that he would position himself near the 5k mark just in case anyone wanted to take the short route home (would we) with the hare nowhere in sight yours truly arrived at the 5k mark and thinking nature had called with the hare, set off again in the belief that he was taking the long route only to find to his amazement that he had arrived back at the hares house first home, celebrating his victory by heading straight for the beer box.) (Bold added for effect) Lost Samuria, Nok Easy, Hom Noi, Elaine, Virgin Will, Dream and friend Lye trailed in with Titanic, The Best Man, On Fire, Iceberg & Special needs with Special Services in close attendance with Buffalo Bill, Ranger,& No Name together with friend Michael coming home in a blanket finish.

As an aside, Virgin Lye had been told by Virgin Will that the hash was a kind of party so she had dressed in a very suave party dress and wore high heels. Needless to say, she wasn’t overly thrilled with Virgin Will by the end of the hash and needed assistance just walking as her heels were well blistered.

Feeling guilty that her husband Brain Health had tortured so many innocent hashers, Just Perfect decided to make it up to everyone by putting on a spread that would not have been out of place in a 5 star hotel. There was a mouth-watering selection of local dishes brought in by a professional caterer. However, Just Perfect had her hands full trying to keep that crafty Labrador Bushwacker and Perfect Man’s Rottweiller from stepping on her newly planted flowers and eating the food off the table. But after feeding 34 hungry hashers and 2 big dogs, there was still enough left over to feed the village.

The Circle

Since the circle happened after the food and significant amounts of beer had been consumed, most of the hashers struggled to keep their eyes open. Shocking acted as GM and after the usual spiel presented our hares with the special shirts and managed to sell one to a first timer Virgin Rose. He then welcomed the 9 hash virgins: Brian, Nang, Christian, Elaine, Aussie Andrew who looks to have a good beer arm to make a devoted hasher, Will and Wife Dream and friend Lye who thought she had escaped the circle but was toasted on the second attempt and Rose who lived next door to the hares but came from China via Phuket. Since everyone was overly full, there were no memorable down-downs or anything else worth mentioning.

Fine Print: Due to our renowned hash scribe Wirgin "Shakespeare" Bluce taking a tour of ALL the whiskey & beer distillers of Canada plus his assistant Able Semen going on an all you can drink boating holiday in dear old Blighty, we freely admit we have scraped the barrel to write this report

Confirmed Hares

July Hand Cock

August Mamalaid/ SoreAssIis

September Namron and Virgin Will

October On Fire/ Fired Up

November Wirgin Bluce/ Wild Woman

December Able Semen

Pictures by Lost Samurai

Directions to the Chiangrai HHH Family Friendly hash #92

2011-06-14T14:12:00.000+07:00

June 18th start 4.00 p.m. prompt

From the Little Duck crossroads (Mae Korn Junction) take route 1020 direction of Thoeng. Travel the 1020 for 14k to traffic lights at Huay Sak (allow 30 minutes from Big C). Turn right here (HHH sign) and drive up the lane towards the reservoir for approx 1.3km and look for the HHH sign on the right, on gate of house no 239/4. Turn into compound and park - hare's hutch is at bottom of slope.

NOTE - Driving past the pond on your left will result in your car getting stuck in thick mud and will require a tractor to extract it so please park there in order to provide the rest of us with entertainment.

Hares: Brain Health & Just Perfect

Report of HHH Run# 91: Saturday, May 21, 2011

2011-05-25T11:12:00.000+07:00

The Chiangrai “Start slowly and taper off “ Hash

S2ATO the Family Friendly Hash

Founded 15 November 2003

Location: Hua Doi area north of the Thoeng Road (1020) near km stone 9.

Hares: Do It Yourself assisted by Do It Better

Following the recent spate of emails discussing the nature of our group and the subsequent resignations of the GM, Hash Scribe and Hash Cash, there was considerable concern whether we would have a hash this month and if so whether anyone would show up for it. As it turned out such misgivings were misplaced. The durable Hash Beer, Do It Better rose to the occasion and produced a fine trail with assistance of Do It Better, a motorcycle and Google Earth. Twenty one hashers showed up including seven children.

At the word “Go,” Nam Ron aided and abetted by the other usual FRBs On Fire, Able Semen and Bushwacker, took off leaving his three boys, Buffalo Bill, Ranger and No Name in a cloud of dust. However to give credit where credit is due, he did provide the boys with poles tipped in red paint which would conveniently obscure the blood from any injuries they might incur.

The hash otherwise evolved in the usual manner. The second tier far behind the FRBs included Fired Up, Hard Wired, Special Needs, Special Services, and your faithful correspondent. The abandoned boys came next not much ahead of the four Powder Puffs. Shocking was conspicuous as ever in the middle along with Sperm Bank and the Lost Samurai in the middle. Not far behind came the ladies headed by Wild Woman, Pat on the Back and Nok Easy whose constant chatter made them easy to monitor. They had been forewarned by the hare that there was a fragile bamboo bridge to cross and everyone was eager to get over it before Shocking arrived.

Back in the circle, Shocking amply filled the place of the absent GM. He began by appointing yours truly and Able Semen, scribe and deputy to the vacant office. He himself took over the Hash Cash’s job with Fired Up deputizing. So now the Mismanagement Committtee under the awesome leadership of the most popular GM ever, consists of Nam Ron, head of trails, the Hash Beer Do It Yourself, the Hash Scribes myself and Able Semen plus the new Hash Cashes Shocking and Fired Up.

In the absence of any virgins or new members to name and with the threat of double kneestanding down down punishment for anyone who swears, hashers soon discovered that there was nothing to do in the circle. So it soon broke up. Sperm Bank reported that his four Powder Puffs complained that this was the most boring circle ever.

Wirgin Bluce

Newly reappointed Hash Scribe

Directions to May Hash (no 92) Saturday 21st of May 2011

2011-05-18T19:57:00.001+07:00

Start 4.00 pm prompt

CHIAINGRAI HHH

Starting from Big C (or Robinson if you prefer that) going south on Superhighway no 1 at first trafficlight turn left towards Toeng on road 1020. Be aware of the roadwork so keep far on the left side 100 m before trafficlight else you have to go straight towards BKK, cannot turn at the trafficlight!.

Go on 1020 and at milestone no 9 (just outside the restarea) you slow down and after another 300 m turn left (just 5 m before a shitfactory, thai word for recyclingplace.) I will put up a HHH-sign there.

After 200 m, park the car where there might be a HHH-sign.

The Hash will be a normal Chiang Rai style Family Hash and just normal Front Running Bastards. There will be a circle, everyone wear Hash-shirts and of course all swearing in the circle is banned! If someone break that rule he will have a doubble kneestanding down-down!

So everyone are welcome and I hope that everyone will come!

On on.
For the hashers that want to have a meal after the Hash I can reccomend The Ostrich Farm that is only 1.3 km from the Circle on the way back to Chiang Rai.

We were there tonight for dinner and they have mostly thai dishes but also Hamburgers, Porkburgers and Ostrichburgers.

They also have 6 different small buffet sets for 5-6 people with prices between 167 to 197 baht per person.

There are many different animals, they have a western village with a Casino and for the more adventures hashers they have Ostrich-riding! I think I saw some horses there too!

And some very good shopping so there is something for everyone!

On On

Hares of the month
"Do it yourself" and "Do it Better"
(yes, she will be there this time ! )

Songkran Hash Report no 91 April 16th

2011-05-18T19:55:00.000+07:00

Chaingrai (Families Welcome) HHH

(S2ATO Start Slowly and Taper Off Hash )

Songkran Hash Report no 91 April 16th

Otherwise known as the French Revolution

Location, vicinity of the very scenic Doi Hang nr Dons Cafe

Due to a Technical hitch, i, Shocking, offer my humble contribution

There was a good turnout for the normally quiet Songkran Hash attendance, this year we missed Wild Womans welcoming sprinkle of water as we arrived.

Allo Allo was in the HOT seat as GM, and after one or two choice words (to say the least) we were handed over to our hare for the day Able Semen. With arms outstretched he advised the hashers to be on the look out for the BIGGEST Eagle he had ever seen when setting the trail that morning,also he had come across a herd of cattle but reassured us they would have finished grazing, he concluded by saying there was a long trail of about 7 km and a shorter trail of 5 km.

The pack set off,the FRBS quickly opened up a gap over the rest of the field,yours truly who reluctantly stays at the back of the pack making sure we did not lose anyone,having to look down at the floor for paper and to look skywards for this biggest eagle ever seen imagining that this eagle would come swooping down at any minute and knowing my luck make a B line for me and carry me off by the scruff of the neck with the Eagle saying to its self "the size of this fella,he will keep the kids fed for a fortnight"

At the half way stage I was confronted by, Dirty Dancer, Sperm Bank with the Powder Puff girls and Namron feeding Wild Bill through a camelback, with Bushwacker making a welcome return, i was told in no uncertain terms that i had taken a short cut and was now in the middle of the pack. "would i do that"

MEANWHILE at the finish line and with the FRBS near to home and our brave Hare convinced that the beer stocks were in Titanics pickup, he tried in vain to pick the lock with no success, he once again set off on the trail to retrieve the key off Titanic only to be told by Do it Yourself that he had the beer stocks in his pickup and did not need a key to open.

The first home was Paddy Boy,he had ran the long course then got mixed up and ran the shorter course twice and still arrived back in 55minutes, Allo Allo trailed in 2nd followed by Belly Dancer from the Chiang Mai Hash,Belly Dancer was seen walking at one stage by the hare but after crossing the hares hand with money his secret is safe from the Chaing Mai FRBS.

MEANWHILE your truly having crossed over the only obstacle on the trail a small ditch and now only to cross one more field and then home and beer, at this stage we came across a marauading herd of cattle,yours truly bravely tried to direct the hashers to safety but when the hashers went to the left the herd followed, when the hashers went to the right the herd followed, the herd carer who looked as if he had been on a 2 day bender was neither use nor ornament HOLY COW i looked down only to find i have red trousers on, i looked up only to find this enormous bull staring me in the eye,i bravely beckoned the other hashers to safety then looked this enormous bull in the eye and ready to cross swords with this animal.

And if you believe that BS I ran like hell across the field as fast as my legs would carry me

The Circle

The GM called in the hare Able Semen and thanked him for a sterling effort setting the trail,we welcomed one virgin fired ups niece (nice girl) she also became a member of our "Theres one born every minute club by buying a hash shirt. There was no 3 hash names to be given and we attempted to have a June Hare volunteer,the only name that was thrown in the ring was brain Health who now confirms himself as the June Hare with the trail starting from his house at Huai Sak. The ever jovial Paddy boy finished the circle with a 5 minute stint by kneeling and trying to drink a downer with no hands.

The ON ON ON

Took us to Dons Cafe,the food served of BQ ribs Steak, chicken, Pizza etc finished off with ice cream was superb. We would like to thank Able Semen for organising the event and Dons Cafe for their service

On On

Shocking with help from Able Semen

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers

"Hashing is a state of mind -
a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."

Directions To Chaingrai HHH No 90 on March 19th

2011-03-16T13:30:00.001+07:00

                            Saturday March 19th Start 4:00 p.m. Prompt

Take Super Highway south from town. Proceed as far as the traffic lights in front of the White Temple. 10 metres beyond the lights there is a small soi leading off to the left. Take this road. (It is quite difficult to spot so look for the HHH sign). After 900 metres the road bears sharply right; follow main road round to right. After 200 metres, main road bears sharply left. Again follow it to left.Take care here because there is a road which goes straight on.

After about 1.5 kilometres, there is a village. 300 metres beyond village, there are two dirt roads leading off to the left and these are separated by a canal. Turn left on to the second of these roads (there will be another Hash sign here). Follow this dirt road. After 150 metres, road turns right, and after another 300 metres turns left (another Hash sign). Proceed for 800 metres to Hash Meeting point. Count on 30 minutes drive from the Big C.
Ah Be Jesus
St Patricks day Thai time Hash (Its only two days late) will take place on
Saturday 19th March,start 4pm prompt.
    We are extending last years "Leprechauns go Half Price offer" again

Hares
       Shocking & Dirty Dancer
             On On

Ship’s Log for February 19th 2011 No. 89

2011-02-23T14:23:00.000+07:00

‘A Hash of the Ancient Mariner’

(with apologies to the Hares if I have, inadvertently, omitted any possible nautical phrase or allusion)

51 of us gathered in yet another of Chiang Rai’s beautiful settings to partake of Virgin Hares Titanic and Iceberg’s Hash. Four Virgin Hashers joined us, and women and children again made up well over half of our party. Scotch on the rocks and Special Services were back, as were the “powder puff “girls and parents , and Secondhand and Bangcock joined us for their last hash in CR for a while. England calls.

Nearly clear blue skies, 30^oC in the shade, low humidity - what trials we Hashers have to face here. Even the air quality was very good for the time of year. This month’s Hash was to take us through a varied landscape of some little foothills, around a few well watered paddies, shady linchee and lamyai orchards and dry dyptocarp forest.

Pulling up anchor

At 15.45 hours, with only a cursory warning of ‘don’t go over the rickety bridge’ and not even a ‘head to starboard’ from the Hare’s briefing, we were cast adrift from our moorings. “Badman and Bobbin” en famille joining us just as we got underway.

The FRBs steamed full ahead before we crested the first hill, leaving not even a ripple in their wake to guide us. With no horizon at times and sextant and compass adrift, we had to rely on jetsam to chart our course. Luckily, our ship’s motley crew proved able seamen with Sally, Chris, three of the virgin Hashers, Bruce in his guise as Cabin boy all taking turns at the helm and steering us ‘steady as she goes’.

We listed to the left, and then we listed to the right, struggling to keep up a fair rate of knots and our balance. The Hash flotilla descended into the troughs and chugged up the other side like worn –out Clydebank puffers, overburdened and underpowered.

“Titanic”, (on convoy escort duty), greeted us with “Come, on you lazy land-lubbers ‘ as we topped one hill. This nearly resulted in him being holed and then marooned on the nearest “Iceberg”. Though the voyage was easy, the temperature was tiring but with two young Ship’s Doctors taken on board at Mae Sai, we were in safe hands.

We tacked through the fruit trees, occasionally got stuck in the Doldrums as we sought a route, then caught the hot breezes on the windward sides to carry us along. Fine vistas of hills, verdant rice fields were sighted along the way. The ‘rickety bridge’ didn’t tempt any of us –it was in far better condition than many we had traversed on previous Hashes. With land in sight, rascally Pirate “Ma’am a laid” commandeered a powered vessel to take her past the line ahead of us, but her plans came asunder when our crow’s nest let out an ‘ahoy’ and she was made to disembark. Next time we won’t be so forgiving – the plank awaits.

“On Fire” cruised into harbour first, then some swashbucklers. Most of us had been anchored up for some time before the last Hasher washed up. The log reports voyage duration of I hour and five minutes for the main flotilla, no castaways or men overboard , and that only a few sailors such as “The Lost Samurai”, ”Nok easy “and the lost boys of Namron had been sucked into that Bermuda triangle of CR Hashes -‘ the short cut’.

“Odd job” made land some time after me for once, having had to veer off course to avoid a 3metre long dark sea snake (that turned out to be black electric cabling being wound up and pulled through the undergrowth by two local farmers.) He - very sensibly - refrained from letting out a cry of “Avast behind’ on seeing me.

In port, victuals were manhandled from the hold of Iceberg’s vessel. Provisions of ale, fruit to stave off the scurvy and fruitcake for added ballast made up some of the delicious fare.

The Circle.

G.M “Handcock” led the circle.

· Loud applause and thanks to the Hares for a ‘great’ Hash – and food -, even Namron couldn’t find fault. “Shocking” presented them with their complementary T-shirts with NEW DESIGN hare badges.

· “Shocking “also broke his duck of the year and sold 2 other T-shirts and two Chiang Rai Hash S2ATO (Start slowly and Taper off)badges.

· Four Virgins were called into the Circle. Lovely to meet you all, and good luck to the 3 younger ones in your careers. To our fit but more venerable fourth hasher, I’ll just say “welcome” and that we hope you come along again.

· The Hashers who had taken the ‘short cut’ were named and shamed. The Lost Samurai living up to his name on this occasion.

· We now have a first aid box to deal with minor injuries. Hash Beer will bring it along each month with the drinks.

· Some debate was had about the suggestion of changing our next Hash date to accommodate Chiang Mai Hashers joining us for a weekend of Hashes. Our ‘normal’ Saturday Hash, a Sunday hash, and a ‘Male’ Hash for the rufty tuftys on the Monday. We would be welcome to join the Sunday and Monday (Mon =Men only) ones if we wanted. It was eventually agreed to leave our March date/Hash unchanged and see what develops. Namron and Able Semen were going to assist in setting any trails. Chiang Rai Hash is not a “normal hash” - we are very family orientated, soda drinkers outnumber the beer drinkers every time and we wouldn’t even need a ‘parental guidance’ certificate if we were a film. Viva la difference!

· G.M “Handcock “ told us about the next Bike hash to be held on the first Sunday of March - a descent of Doi Tung (repeat ‘DESCENT’) is promised. He will send out more information nearer the time.

· Namron had to be bodily removed from the Circle by Sperm bank after getting too enthusiastic about acquiring volunteers to become hares. Two sets of hashers had been pinned by Namron’s gimlet stare, but the rest managed to escape due to the intervention. Being a Hare is good fun, nothing to be scared of, and we are grateful for everyone who volunteers. The more experienced hashers are keen to lend a hand and advice to any Virgin Hares.

· The circle closed on another good afternoon of conversation and exercise.

Hares for the following months are:

March – Shocking, Pea, and Dirty Dancer

April – Able Semen

May –

June -

July – Ma’am a laid and Soreyarsis

August –

Sept -

October – Fired up and On Fire

November – Oddjob and Ooh Matron

December –

January 2012 – Cop out.

January 2011 Report number 88

2011-01-20T13:55:00.000+07:00

‘You’ve caused chaos and confusion’ said the Fat Controller

Hare: Stuart (The Best Man) was Hare –this was his first time at laying a trail for us.

Venue: Along the 1151,near the Café de doi in the vicinity of the Pong Phrabat waterfall, north of town.

By the time we all gathered at the start, the slightly overcast sky of the morning had burnt away to clear blue and the temperatures were in the balmy mid-20.C, a more pleasant day for a Hash could not have been asked for. There were 47 of us, the usual culprits including 11 children, a few ‘returnees’ and 3 eager virgin hashers who knew no better at that stage.

Stuart gave the briefing – thanking Shocking and Able Semen for their assistance in setting up his first hash trail. Apparently, ignoring exhortations from Namron to try to kill us off by making it a very challenging course, he had opted for one about ‘6….or 7…..or 8 km’ long and of medium difficulty, with ‘about 8 checks’. I didn’t like the sound of this at all, we were right up against the hills, would we be aquaplaning down the waterfall, was it going to be one of those no- level -ground -found Hashes? Ah well, I’d recover in time for next month, and Shocking gave me hope as he had managed to get round it 2 days before with a heel injury.

Off we set – and straight away spirits amongst those of us who find setting out the Scrabble board a physically gruelling activity could be heard to rise as we headed AWAY from the looming hills back down into rice paddy land. The FRBs were off, off and away into the distance before most of us had reached the car park entrance.

Almost straight away, memories of another Hash were brought to mind in vivid detail – Handcock’s infamous ‘365 ways to cross a paddy field’ was surpassed by the events of the next half an hour.

It was ‘chaos and confusion’ thought your trusty scribe.

Imagine, if you will, dry paddy fields as far as your eye can see, a patchwork of earth borders dividing each paddy with absolutely no discernable features to identify one from the other. Imagine the pale bleached rice straw left in the fields, a colour leaching sun, the pale colour of a very sparce paper trail and picture the resultant chaos. People went off in every single direction. Shouts of ‘On,on’ from the FRBs soon faded away as they wandered (albeit very quickly) around in the distance looking for paper. No-one in the Hash Pack had seen how the FRBs had got to where they were, so there were two/three/four groups looking for paper. Back and forth, everyone had their heads down searching, apart from those of us who like to watch how things develop before committing ourselves to physical effort. Sure enough the ‘wait and see’ approach worked and minimal effort achieved maximum results for this elite sub-group of CRH. The paddy fields being dry, whenever a paper trail was found, off we set across them to catch up.

Shouts for ‘John’ were occasionally heard as mischievous-minded Hashers spotted some skittish cows with ropes attached – but he had learned his lesson and made no attempt to corral them. One of the cows was decided the hashers were in the mood for a beef dinner and started charging at the FRB's. Luckily his nose was attached to a rope as it was the only thing from turning the hash into a running with the bull.

Criss-crossing the fields, we reached the end, a small hedge and ditch to traverse, and we faced another paddy patchwork. Such was the confusion that – until lured astray by a paper pile that turned out to be a bit of a feed bag – Titanic noted that our small group was briefly in the lead, a situation that nearly caused nervous exhaustion to set in. This error being swiftly rectified, we back tracked and followed the Hash Pack to reach another steep sided ditch with 3 bits of rotten wood pretending to be a bridge. Over this with no fatalities – though Wirgin Bruce stood by ready to capture any mishaps with his camera, and there was a respite from the paddies and a wider path to follow. Nita seemed to have acquired by this time some vegetation that required carrying home for transplanting.

Once on the paths, then clambering down, leaping over and then scrambling up a few more ditches,

( Wild Woman magnificently demonstrating the art of dyke vaulting to Cop Out at one of them) , past some ripening pineapple fields, and - with a couple of gentle inclines to raise the heart rate- it was back to base for most of us. The last part of the Hash offering lovely views to the hills, and the Café de doi where there was an evening concert and food to tempt post-Hash hashers with any stamina left.

Namron came in first, then immediately headed back out on a lap of honour to round up the children. Wi came in second, and then Able Semen. Most of us had been back for some considerable time when Wild Woman jogged in to wild applause, followed a few minutes later by Sally, then Stuart (Hare) and Shocking en famille…. It turns out that Stuart – having laid the trail in the morning had been called away and on his return had forgotten to remove the paper on what was supposed to be a false trail. The group he was with had trustingly followed his lead down this dead end for some considerable way before it had dawned on him that he had no idea where he was. This is what makes a Hash good fun. We hope it doesn’t put him off having another go at being a hare!

The Circle

Handcock carried out his first duties as one of this years’ G.Ms and thanked Stuart for his Hash.

Welcoming the 3 virgin hashers, from Australia, UK and Thailand in the traditional way, we then held a naming ceremony for three 3 times Hashers.

American Ex- teacher Debbie became ‘Ma’am – a – lade’

Our Thai teacher became ‘Nok easy’ – this was something to do with her having the ability to spot a paper trail from a great distance,

And Gus – apparently a great disco fiend and lover of Pattaya’s less salubrious areas became ‘Dirty Dancer’.

Bruce informed the Circle of an idea that had been floated to him of CRH possibly hosting a regional Hash. He invited any Hasher interested in discussing the idea to meet the following Monday.

(I can tell you now that a decision was taken at that meeting not to pursue this idea at the moment, but to celebrate our 10^th Anniversery in 2013 by making it an Invitational Hash. I am sure we will hear more details after the next Hash).

For any of you who want to expend some more energy, Bruce is helping organise a Sprint triathalon on Saturday the 12^th of February. Comprising a 750 metres swim, a 20km bike ride and a 4km run, he invites any interested people to contact him on kennedyhb@hotmail.com. You can just take part in one event, or enter as a group. It’s in aid of a good cause too.

Hares for the forthcoming Months

Titanic and Iceberg will be next month’s Hares.

Shocking and Pee will be March’s, but we need volunteers for April, May, June and July. Don’t be shy, the ‘old hands’ are very helpful and will advise and guide you through what to do.

P.S We have a shredder available for anyone who wishes to borrow it. Let Shocking know if you want to use it.

See you all next month in the year of the Rabbit.

OohMatron and OddJob.

Photographic evidence of this month’s Hash can be found at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/view?q=chiangraihhh&psc=G&filter=0#slideshow/5509246900356447362

Directions to the Jan 15th Hash

2011-01-14T09:08:00.002+07:00

Start 3:30pm Prompt Hare - Better Man (his virgin haring)

From Big 'C' head North on highway 1, direction Mae Sai , go over the river
bridge, keep travelling North past MAKRO and the Airport turn off until you come
to Bandu Municipality Market, the concrete over bridge is a good marker. Still
heading North and ignoring the two small roads off to the left, approximately
0.3 km past the market is a left hand turn through an arch that says long live
the King in Thai it's the 1151 road according to the sign on the road, but
Google Maps shows it as 1511, it's the same road to the Pong Phrabat Hot Springs
and the Pong Phabat Waterfall, the turn off is 9.5 km from Big 'C'.

Hopefully you will see a HHH sign here from about 13.30 , there are several
other signs as well including one that says "Pong Phrabat Hot Springs 2.7 km".

From this turning you should carry on along the 1151 or 1511 for 7.2km where you'll see x2 Hash Signs, here turn right up a small hill for about 500mtrs which is where you can park your car/bike on the left hand side.
By the HHH sign
ALL WELCOME
ON ON

Dec. Hash Report "Jingle Bells"

2010-12-23T08:35:00.000+07:00

December 2010 report no.87

‘Jingle bells’

Venue; inside the Santiburi golf course estate way off to the left of the Thoeng road, at the Hare’s lair.

Hares: Wirgin Bruce and Wild Woman.

With a fair few winter visitors, including another representative of the Dutch police force to keep us under control, and others lured out of hiding by the news of an ‘On,On.On’ provided by Wild Woman and Co., we had a great turn-out of 57 -though about ten sluggards didn’t actually expend any energy by taking part in the Hash. There were quite a few children amongst us – Santa was rumoured to be going to drop in later and the sense of anticipation was palpable. The weather was cool (21.c) and overcast, and coats, cardigans and even a few Santa hats were worn for their thermal qualities.

A fair bit of finickity sorting out of the Christmas gifts by ‘Santa’s little helper’ a.k.a Wirgin Bruce prior to the start and then we were ready for the Hares’ advice. I think he was eager to get us on our way when he realised the general conversation had moved from just admiring a beautiful Jade vine (puang yok) in the driveway, on to how and where we could best take cuttings from it.

Lots of checks were promised, and as the assistant Hare had got lost on the course that morning, we could look forward to many opportunities for displaying our infamous CRH group stance of total befuddlement when faced with a choice of paths.

There were 2 routes, the one for the FRBs being about a kilometre longer than the more popular one.

The Hash

Off we set, following the trail – one of delicately scented talc inside the estate grounds – reverting to paper outside. Only Doesn’t Matterhorn set off at anything more than a fast walk, he and Do it yourself and Lost Samurai also being the only ones to tackle the longer course and lead us all back in.

It proved to be an easy Hash with no real challenges apart from the preponderance of checks, which allowed many opportunities for deliberate short-cutting by unscrupulous Hashers. Flat ground, a few pretty ponds and firm paths made up the course.

It was just what we needed, conversation again taking precedence over forward motion, and leaving us plenty of energy for the ‘On,On,On’. Namron was with the FRBs but turned back in search of missing children. The pace from the rest of us was so relaxed that, unbelievably, the scribes were amongst the front strollers for most of the Hash. No-one, apart from the FRB, showed evidence of even a gentle glow on their return.

After a quick raid by Nita and Noot of Wild Woman’s passionfruit harvest (to aghast cries from Hashers not ‘in the know’, who thought they were breaking one of our cardinal rules and blatantly raiding someone’s food crop), the trail took us through a hedge into the estate and back to base.

The On,On,On

We all collected in the Hares’ back garden, admiring the view over a lake and the general surroundings. No-one took up Bruce’s offer of a voluntary swim, but he did have to make use of the boat to retrieve a paddle that mysteriously found itself floating offshore, I had my camera ready to record any mishap, but he made it back safely.

Only one child managed to fall in. (Oddjob won our bet – I had guessed that all three boys would end up in the drink before the start of the meal). They had a great time feeding the huge giant Gourami (?) with bananas.

Wild Woman and a small army of helpers had prepared a scrumptious spread for us. There was passionfruit juice, Hibiscus drink, vegetarian kebabs and spaghetti with Bolognese sauce, ROAST TURKEY and gravy, samosas, Brownies, fruit cake and almond biscuits and many other dishes too numerous to mention. In other words, there was something for every palette.

After we had eaten our fill, and as the dusk settled around us, lights were lit along the lake shore, and we were called to attention.

The Circle was kept brief – both our G.Ms were missing so Namron took over.

The Hares were thanked for their magnificent efforts and Wild Woman asked us to toast those such as Noot and Pea who had helped prepare the food and to set up and serve at the On,On,On. Many thanks from all of us!
3 virgin hashers were welcomed.
Namron called in his 3 children to the circle, and the ‘missing’ children episode was explained. ‘Stay here, we’ll come back and get you’ the older brothers had said, (the words that, throughout history, those of us with older siblings have learnt are nowt but treacherous lies), leaving the youngest one abandoned on the trail. They had then headed off back to the Hare’s house to make sure they didn’t miss out on the post-hash food. Ah, brotherly love.
Two ‘namings’ were postponed to the next meeting to allow us to proceed swiftly on to the final part of the evening’s entertainment.

Santa comes to the Hash.

I don’t know what strings they had had to pull, but the Hares had managed to get Father Christmas to come along to the Hash. The presents had been left piled up on a Xmas tree and light festooned buffalo cart and had been prodded and shaken by an admiring group of children for some minutes. Then, from the darkness, came Santa. The children were first in the queue for presents and we all enjoyed the experience.

After Santa had finished his duties, further fun was organised by the Hares in the form of Hula hoop races and a rather naughty game of hitting the ball down a course. I’ll let you look at the photos to get the real picture.

There was a bit of controversy surrounding Santa’s visit. Amongst the discrepancies in his paperwork were: no work visa, no immigration arrival or departure cards or completed import duty forms for presents, his reindeer had been impounded at the customs border in MaeSai and – Shock! Horror! Khun Noot revealed she knew him intimately. What would George say?

All in all, an excellent Hash.

Hares for next year

January- Stuart P.

February- Titanic and Nita

October – Fired up and On fire

November- Ooh Matron and OddJob.

Dec. 18th Hash Driving Directions

2010-12-13T15:55:00.002+07:00

Starting at the Big C head south along the Super Highway until you reach the first traffic lights and then turn left. This is Highway 1020. Go about 6 km along this road until you reach the first major turning to the left. This is Highway 1152 headed to Phaya Mengrai. Turn left here. Travel along this road 2 km until you see the Santiburi Golf Course and turn right into this complex. Shortly after passing the gate you come to a T-junction. Turn right here. You are now on a ring road that circles the exterior of the complex. Travel 2 km never turning left until you come across a HHH pointed towards a house. Park here.

Plan on 25 minutes to reach this spot from the Big C. Please plan to arrive by 2:45 so we can begin at 3:00 pm promptly.

Wild Woman is going to put on an On! On! On! (supper) after the run. In order to help organize the food, would you please indicate if you are planning to come and how many people you will bring by email to Wirgin Bluce at kennedyhb@hotmail.com or phone 089 635 3224.

What makes Christmas special is the exchange of gifts. So we are asking that everyone bring some wrapped present costing not less than 100 Baht and no more than 200 Baht to be distributed by Father Christmas in a random way. If parents would like their child to receive something suitable to their age and gender, please that gift with the child's name on it and we will ensure that s/he receives it in the general distribution.

Those interesting in swimming with the fish in the lake or paddling the kayak are welcome to do so at their own risk. Bring your own bathing suit and towel. We will provide life preservers for the children.

On! On!

Wirgin Bluce

November Hash Report

2010-12-13T15:52:00.000+07:00

Hash report No.86 20^th November 2010

Trial by thorn

Venue: Down a rather pot-holed road off into the countryside near the White temple.

Hares: Able Seaman and Gorf, with Allo,Allo acting as Sweeper.

Pre-Hash gathering

This anniversary Hash saw a magnificent turn-out of 49 Hashers. People had travelled from far and wide – France, U.K, even all the way from Bangkok to be with us. We had 5 of our founding fathers in attendance, and Able Seaman had organised an On,On,On to add to the enjoyment. Don’t be fooled by the photograph showing certain thin-blooded individuals wearing thick down coats, it was 29.C in the shade and a lovely afternoon.

Able Seaman called us to listen in to the pre-Hash instructions – he described our idiosyncratic symbols for the benefit of non-regular CRHashers and gave a brief summary of what we could expect. A longer route for the more athletic, and one of about 5.5km for those who choose not to become muscle bound.

On,On

Off we set, into the greenery.

A glance at Able Seaman’s lower legs before we set off had rung alarm bells. There, beneath the finest covering of down, were the tell-tale angry red spots and deep scratches from multiple close encounters with my favourite plants –** Mimosa pigra and its’ little cousin Mimosa pudica. Having decided to venture out in walking sandals and bare legs, and spotting one of the Bangkok contingency sporting brief running shorts, I knew that some of us would be regretting these fashion choices by the end of the Hash. (As I write this, my legs and arms still look like a pustular moon landscape, each septic spot marking the point of entry of a thorn. Three other Hashers met with this week also displayed evidence of these plants’ ability to act as skin flails.)

The Hares had worked hard to cut down and clear the trail, where it had overgrown onto the paths, but –short of wearing chain mail – it’s impossible not to suffer some injury from an encounter with this thorny beast.

Now I think about, maybe this was why some Hashers were wearing thick coats and trousers – had the Hares pre-warned them?

The trails themselves were easy going enough, a few muddy patches by the paddy fields, no steep ascents and the checks had been sorted out long before I got to them. Nice big clear arrows showed us the way, and both Able Seaman and Allo,Allo guided any who deviated from the chosen path with gentle encouragement to find the correct route. No sooner had three of us balanced precariously over 2 termite ridden poles to cross a ditch, than we were summoned back over it to keep on track. Five yards further on we performed an even more hazardous crossing over an even more decrepit bit of bamboo to get to the same side of the ditch we’d reached before. Helping hands from the gentlemen in the party to assist were much appreciated.

Some of the trail was over narrow and thorny paths that edged recently harvested rice paddies. Seeking to emulate the example of some of our graceful Thai Hashers (who were making quicker and less prickly progress by using the harvested paddy to glide over, barely creating a dimple), Scotch on the rocks stepped off the path and onto the paddy surface. Regaining the path 2 steps later and wiping off the mud that covered her shoes, she was heard to mention that ‘perhaps there was a bit of a weight differential’. Not wishing to disappear up to my armpits, I made sure I stuck to the official path.

The Hash performed its’ usual function, for most of us, of allowing a bit of a chat whilst getting some exercise. Most of the early part of my Hash was spent debating matters of great scientific importance with Big bang (our resident physicist) and listening to other Hashers discussing the real estate market in C.R, occasionally breaking off to exclaim ‘ooh, look at that’ as we passed some beautiful lake vista, or ‘you b*****!’ as we encountered another bit of spiny Mimosa. We were slightly bemused to be passed three times by one Bangkok Hasher, and twice by Ron, must have been on the long trail we thought, or could they have been lost???

Anyway, we all got back. Wi (On Fire)ran in first with the Hares in close attendance, in about 1 hour and 20 minutes.

The Circle

With a long agenda to get through, and with food and drink not occupying our attention too much due to the promise of an ‘On,On,On’, it wasn’t long before Namron (our master of ceremonies for this Hash), called for our attention. The famous CRH circle ( 6 people interested in extra beers gathering round into a protective huddle, the rest of the Hash crowd lounging on picnic blankets eating and chatting and hoping no-one will ask them to regain a vertical stance) was supplemented this month by the Bangkok contingency who put us to shame with their enthusiasm.

After thanking the Hares for their excellent Hash,- though we all thought it was a lot longer than they said it was going to be - Namron got down to business.

In a blur of efficiency and amidst loud cajoling for suggestions, four Hashers received their Hash names.

A very bashful young Hasher (Badmans’ daughter) will henceforth be ‘Runaway’ in tribute to her fast disappearance behind Mum and Dad in order to avoid going into the Circle.
Rea, Dutch ex- plainclothes policewoman and an unmistakable figure on any Hash, became ‘Cop out’.
Guido from Switzerland whose devotion to visiting a local supermarket is legendary, became ‘The little Big C man’’
Lastly, Ron from USA with a lifetime of working in the medical field – most recently in dermatology – became something that sounded like ‘Sore arses’, a play on psoriasis – I think!

Welcoming the Virgins

We had 5 hash virgins to welcome, including 2 Thai gentlemen who looked very bemused by the circle but took their introduction with good humour, downing their beer with great skill.

Founding members- we were honoured with the presence of 5 of the original members of our Hash, including the very first G.M/Chairman, Brian Heath (Brain Death). At the suggestion of Namron – bemoaning the fact that CRHash is vocally challenged as we only know ‘one song’, -Brian led a magnificent and impromptu rendition of something called ‘All the usual’ to demonstrate there is more to the Hash hymn book than our ‘Drink it down’.

T-shirts were flying off the pile to them and new Hashers.

Election time

The Anniversary Hash is the event sensible Hashers make sure they miss, in order to avoid any possibility of being forced onto the Mismanagement Committee for the next year. Worn down by the onerous responsibilities from the last 12 months, most of the current committee members had forgotten what month it was and turned up.

Needless to say new ‘volunteers’ were thin on the ground and the Hash pack was not willing to accept excuses – a minor terminal illness - writers’ cramp, no battery in the Hash Cash calculator, a tendency to drink any left-over beer between Hashes- all failed to deter the ruthless pack from re-electing most of the present incumbents. However – some relief was available in the form of people going ‘sharees’ over roles. And we have new G.M’s/Chairmen, serenaded into post with a tuneful rendition of ‘where is the paper’ in schoolboy French.

2011 Mismanagement Committee

Hash Beer – Titanic (and Do it yourself will take on role when ice floes are around)

Hash Cash – Doesn’t Matterhorn will have to manfully soldier on alone.

Hash Scribes – Ooh matron and Oddjob will have the original (and best) scribe Wirgin Bruce back at the writing desk when required.

And lastly…..

‘Allo, Allo’ and Handcock will share the prestige of chairman. (They got off to a magnificent start by stating they both intended to be away for the next couple of Hashes.)

Next month’s Hash

Wirgin Bruce and Wild woman are the Hares for our Christmas Hash. In honour of the festive occasion, Wirgin Bruce requested that Hashers bring along a wrapped present (costing no less than 100baht and no more 200 baht) for Father Christmas to distribute. He also suggested that any Hasher bringing along children who wants to ensure that they receive an appropriate present, bring along something for them for Santa to hand out.

An invitation from Gorf (Frank)

Frank is due to be married this week and had very kindly invited any of the CRH to attend. Details should have reached you via an e-mail this week. Congratulations!!

The Circle activities drawing to an end, we had one last bit of excitement to deal with. The normal occupants of the Hash trail ground wanted to return to pasture. Two bullocks and a cow with well-grown calf were stunned to encounter our noisy and motley crew on their bridge to home. Deciding that passing between us was outwith their criteria of ‘things we can cope with’, the more skittish of the beasts turned tail and fled. One well meaning Hasher grabbed hold of its’ trailing rope in a vain attempt to control its’ departure. Now, in a previous incarnation Oddjob and I had been in daily close combat with livestock and know that it’s hard enough to control a bolshy blackface ewe, never mind a whopping ¾ ton stirk so we didn’t rush to his assistance. Needless to say, the beast took off down the road and into a field, pulling said Hasher at such speed it looked like he was skiing along the road surface.

The rest of us played the ‘we’re not looking at you, so we don’t exist’ game to allow the other animals to trip-trap over that bridge to safety.

A few minutes later, our heroic Hasher reappeared, sans beast, clothing akimbo, looking nonchalant and apparently un-harmed. However, rope burns to both hands were severe enough, we learned later, to curtail at least one game of golf this week. We hope you’ve recovered now.

Exhausted after all this, it was time to head off to the On,On,On or home.

On,on, ooh Matron and Oddjob

Don’t forget to look at the photos at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/view?q=chiangraihhh&psc=G&filter=0#slideshow/5509246900356447362

November 20th Anniversary Hash Driving Directions

2010-11-17T08:22:00.000+07:00

Starting from the Little Duck traffic lights, proceed south down the superhighway (AH2). Continue until you reach the traffic lights at Rong Khun, or the White Temple. This is the second set of traffic lights you reach after leaving lights at the Little Duck. Turn right here and proceed for one and a half kilometres until you reach a concrete factory on the left hand side of the road. Immediately beyond this factory is a cross road. Turn left here.

Continue along this small and badly holed road until you come to kilometre stone 2 (facing road) or 11 (facing you). There are not many kilometre stones along this road so keep your eyes open. Continue along same road beyond ks 2/11 for approx 750 metres and then park up on the side of the road. HHH signs will be placed at the concrete factory and at the meeting point. Note: no sign at the White Temple traffic light.

Please be at the meeting point at 2.45 so that we can start at 3 pm promptly and so finish in time to complete the circle - election of officers etc. - in the daylight.

I have arranged an On On On but need to know numbers. I will ask you whether you wish to attend before Hash starts. On On!!! Ian

Hash Report No. 84 Oct. 2010

2010-10-22T11:47:00.000+07:00

The ChiangRai ‘Start slowly and Taper off’ Hash

Report October2010

‘The Swiss Precision Hash’

Venue: Within the grounds of the C.R Horticultural Research Centre, off the old Chiang Mai road at Keystone 5. Beside lake with the trail covering a mix of newly planted and well established fruit and nut plantations.

Hares: ‘Doesn’t Matterhorn’ and ‘ Swiss Roll’

Scribe: With Ooohmatron injured Oddjob is filling in

Attendance was excellent with a total of 37 happy hashers gathering - 14 women, 13 men and 10 children all raring to go.

Trails: The hare found an idyllic spot where he was able to devise two trails – one for the runners and an easier route for the ramblers.

After being given friendly advice and hints from the hare we set off on our chosen path, the FRBs at a trot and the ramblers at a slow stroll (similar to shopping at Big C). After taking photographs of the departing groups I joined the rear of the ramblers (what else did you expect from me). I settled into a steady pace and caught up with the hare who was also acting as sweeper. As we rounded a bend we came across the entire group standing at a white cross in the middle of the track. The hare diagnosed the problem, this was the first checkpoint that the ramblers had ever seen. Normally the front runners sort out such minor inconveniences long before any ramblers appear. Pleas from the hare to look for paper eventually caused two ramblers to go down the left track whilst I headed down the right hand track looking for photo opportunities. By chance I found paper and I had become a FRB (front rambling Brit). This was first for me and for almost 1Km I lead the pack, until I reached the second checkpoint.

I opted for the left path and proceeded up Mount Everest for miles, ok it was a gentle slope and after 100 metres I came across the white line across the track. I turned and headed back retracing my steps to the checkpoint where a gaggle of ramblers had gathered. “Look for paper” sounded a familiar Swiss voice followed by tutting (if tutting was an Olympic event the hare would be sure to get gold). We were then joined by the runners Allo Allo, Able Seamen and who sailed past the checkpoint down the correct path to leave me at the rear, my moment of glory over.

And now we arrive at “the corner of doom”. The hash route took a sharp left off the main track. To assist us a large HHH arrow style sign had been attached to a tree at eye level, together with the statutory paper trail on the ground. The front runners were on a fast straight stretch and managed to run past the tree, not noticing the desired turn. Some of the faster ramblers spotted the FRBs in the lead and instead of looking for paper, opted for the easier option of following runners. They also missed the corner. The hare arrived and saw what was happening. He muttered words in a foreign tongue that I didn’t quite catch, but I believe it would have made a Swiss bar maid blush. (Luckily the hare’s mother was too far away to hear the outburst). He tried calling the disappearing group back, but they had their heads down and they were gone. “Never mind, we will meet up with them later” was the hare’s closing comment as we set off in the correct direction.

The ramblers then proceeded up a small hill where we were greeted by a panoramic view of Chiang Rai and another checkpoint. The hare had softened and he kindly pointed out the way we should head, down the hill. We accepted his kind gesture and began our descent, but not for long as the hare suddenly remembered that he had changed the route at the last moment and we had to retrace our steps back up again. Even the best monkey can drop a coconut.

It was then that we spotted little figures running around in the distance and as they got closer we realised that it was the FRB’s who were coming up the hill towards us, on paper but in the wrong direction. I will never forget the faces of Allo Allo, Able seaman and Namron as we crossed paths. A bemused farmer was standing nearby watching the excitement. I would have loved to have been able to explain to him what was going happening to put him out of his misery. As he retold his tale that evening, would anybody believe him?

And so we descended the hill where we met more lost sheep who, after surveying the mountain, decided to turn and follow us back. Shortly after this I crossed paths with Namron again. Was he going around again? No, just looking for lost children who had unfortunately followed the FRBs in the wrong direction but then missed the turn so ended up seeing nothing more than a flat dirt road.

As I returned to base I found that Allo Allo and Able Seaman were first to arrive back. They had completed the course and a bit more but in the wrong order. The Lost Samurai followed closely by Debbie no name were next in. They had completed the course in the correct order. I will let the reader decide who has the honour of first and second in. I came in a respectable third or fifth depending upon your opinion.

This must have been one of the best hashes that I have been on – wonderful scenery, good tracks, a little mud, chaos and confusion. What else can you expect for so little money. The afternoon can never be repeated, you had to be there to experience the experience.

After the hash

Swiss Roll provided an excellent repast for the Hashers including spicy salad, penang gai and green curry. Compliments flew. Doesn't Matter Horn and Swiss Roll were presented with their well deserved Paris collection tee shirts embellished with exclusive hare badges. Three lucky hashers received their new names - a retired physicist received the name "Big Banger" and his lovely wife was dubbed "Well Dimensioned." The daughter of Bad Man was in line to get her name as well but all were too intimidated by Bad Man to suggest something racy.

Photographs of the hash can be found by following this link

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/view?q=chiangraihhh&psc=G&filter=0#slideshow/5509246900356447362

On, On! Ooh Matron and Oddjob

Driving Directions for Oct. 16th Hash

2010-10-12T08:12:00.001+07:00

Location - Chiangrai horticultural research center, Old Chiang Mai road

Time: 3:30 (15:30)

Hare: Doesn't Matter Horn

starting from the thai hospital (sathan payabarn rd / ถนนสถานพยาบาล)

- proceed 1.4 km west to the old chiang mai road (1211)

- at the second traffic light (denhaa / เด่นห้า) turn left into road 1211, direction south to chiang mai (old chiang Mai road)

- from denhaa / เด่นห้า proceed 5 km to the kstone 5 - respective kstone 25 (25 kms to dongmada / ดงมะดะ) Now slow down!!

- just 150 meters beyond kstone 5, turn right (hhh sign) and drive through the gate into the Chiangrai horticultural research center / ศูนย์วิจัยพีชสวนเชียงราย

- after 50 meters turn left (hhh signs) and then an other 50 meters turn right (hhh signs)

- now following this road for 2 kms to the parking area

- driving time starting from the thai hospital should be not more than 15 minutes

for any question please contact 085 705 76 36 (english / thai)

Hash Report No. 83 Sept. 2010

2010-09-25T10:05:00.000+07:00

The Sept. Chiang Rai Hash

Venue: Left past Ban Du Municipality market and then along the 1151 towards Pong Phrabat Hot springs on a newly paved road.

Hares: Peter (Fired up) and Wi (On Fire) Their first hash as Hares .

The assembly: After 3 weeks of ‘proper’ rainy season weather, with daily torrential downpours and leaden skies, we were blessed with an unexpectedly clear and sunny afternoon. Not only had the Superhighway between Ban Du and Rajabhat University reverted to road from flowing river, allowing arrival by car rather than boat, but the sun had dried out the hash trail very satisfactorily. Spermbanks’ brave fashion choice of up –to- the- thigh green leather boots proving to be a tad unnecessary. With quite a few apologies from Hash regulars, and a number probably put off by the weather forecast, we were surprised by a robust turnout of 24 + 2 dogs.

It was great to welcome back ‘Allo ‘Allo (a 200km round trip to Hash with us ) and partner, and to meet another hash Virgin, introduced to us by the Lost Samurai.

Hash Briefing: Peter (Fired up) gave the briefing. The route involving few inclines and only a few (still) muddy patches. He wasn’t sure how long the trail was (why not, did he and Wi not count their steps when laying the paper trail like everyone else does?), but promised us no unpleasant surprises. And so it proved.

And they’re off:Yet again, the ease with which you can go from conurbation to countryside in Chiang Rai was illustrated. And what beautiful countryside it was. Just stunning. Shocking felt it was ‘well up there’ as a front runner for the Hash with the best scenery. This, coupled with the fact that it was on good paths (with nothing too energetic to raise the heart-rate - if you amble along) and in the company of pleasant people, certainly made it one of my favourites . Thank you, hares.

For those Hashers who choose to walk (OK. for some of us there isn’t any alternative) it was also a Hash where a food collection bag wouldn’t have come amiss. There were endless fields of pineapples, a few Pomelo trees, rambutans, and other delights. Nita introduced me to a small green fruit which she called a ‘Thai olive’ – it might be ‘a little sour’’ she said. Sour – it nearly took the lining off my teeth. There were hens, Muscovy ducks and even turkeys en-route, and we disturbed a Cinnamon Bittern into flight from one pond, and a White-breasted waterhen back into the foliage on another.

Nobody got very lost. Oddjob proved once again that he can find completely the wrong way to go but still get back ahead of me, though this time he and 2 other hashers (as yet un-named, 3^rd Hash coming up) did have to brave 8 vicious farm dogs to achieve this. They all got in safely but from the opposite direction to everyone else, so it rather gave their game away.

Wi as not one of the FRBs this time, she had to act as sweeper and walk the course, gathering up the last of the flock back into the fold and amazingly enough, she let no one astray!

First back in: The FRBs were ‘Allo ‘Allo and Able Seaman, running in together (but not hand in hand), followed by Allo Allo's better half, Lost Samurai, Namron and Titanic- amongst others -well ahead of the rest of the Hash pack.

Circle:

Thanks were given to the hares. We enjoyed it, and they must have too because they have already volunteered to do another trail next year.

Our Virgin was welcomed.

The four Hashers to receive their names next hash were toasted.

Shocking broke the news that he would be absent from the Hash for the next 3 months. The lure of scouse and Tetleys proving overwhelming. Of course, with him being away during our selection period for next year’s committee, we could (if we were so inclined) vote him back in without his knowledge, it could be a done deal.

Namron and Able Seaman, possibly Titanic could have been mentioned as worthy stand-ins for our G.M during his absence. My attention span had collapsed by this time.

Shocking sold another T-shirt.

And finally:-Forthcoming Hares:

· October: Doesn’t Matterhorn

· November: Gorf and Able Seaman

· December: Wirgin Bruce and Wild Woman

2011

· January: Stuart P.

· February: Titanic

· October: Fired up and On Fire

· November: Oddjob and Ooh Matron

And we are looking forward to one hash being organized by the Jubbs. Next year. Two witnesses heard you say so.

As you will notice from the expanding list, you will need to get in quick if you want to pick and choose which month you will be the Hares for!!

Get your thinking caps on for November: November brings us round again to that eagerly awaited time (for the current occupants of the CRH Mis-management Committee it is, anyway). It’s time for nominations for next years’ G.M, Hash Cash, Hash Beer and Scribe. If you wish to take on any of these roles or want to nominate a victim, do let someone on the committee know by e-mail or at one of the next 2 Hashes. No experience or expertise required, no C.V or interviews. It’ll be the easiest job application you’ve ever done. And think what kudos it will add to your real C.V.

Photographs: Pictures from July, August and this month’s hash can be found by clicking on the following link:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/view?q=chiangraihhh&psc=G&filter=0#slideshow/5509246900356447362

Driving Directions for Sept. 18 Hash

2010-09-17T11:31:00.000+07:00

Start time 3:30 p.m.!

Here are the instructions/directions on how to get to the start of the Chiang Rai HASH on Saturday 18th September 2010.

So, from Big 'C' head North on highway 1, direction Mae Sai, go over the river bridge, keep travelling North past MAKRO and the Airport don't turn off until you come to Bandu Municipality Market. Look for concrete pedestrian overpass. Approximately 0.3 km past the market turn left under an arch that says "long live the King" in Thai. It is either road #1151 or road #1511 but either way, it's the road to the Pong Phrabat Hot Springs and the Pong Phabat Waterfall. The turn off is 9.5 km from Big 'C'.

Hopefully you will see a HHH sign here from about 13.30 , there are several other signs as well including one that says "Pong Phrabat Hot Springs 2.7 km".

Carry on past Sinthanee 7, Mountain View for 2.7 km and just before the right hand bend where the Pong Phrabat Hot Springs & Bandu Municipality Offices are located you will see a concrete road off to your left, HHH sign here, take this road and travel approximately 2.6 km along the road, no turn offs, to the start/finish of the HASH, HHH sign here. If you have a pink bungalow on your left and the Bandu Municipality Offices on your right shortly after the turn off, you'r on the right road.

Sounds straightforward, but please remember this is our first attempt at organising a HASH so we may have forgotten something, my mobile is 0843286926, English only & Wi's mobile is 0810301971 Thai & English.

All are welcome and we start at 15.25 with instructions from the Hares, then off sharp at 15.30. The start is a bit earlier than the last HASH, just in case the weather turns bad.

On, on !

On Fire & Fired Up

What if this is as good as it gets?

Chiang Rai ‘Start slowly and taper off’ Hash Report no.82 August 2010

2010-08-27T11:19:00.000+07:00

‘The Hash of a thousand (short) cuts’

Venue: Woodland area with many small lakes, half a kilometre off the Thoeng (1010) road, about ten minutes from C.R. town. Lovely.

Hares: Do it Yourself and Do it better.

Start time – 16.00hours
We assembled in an area that was familiar to many of us as the general vicinity had been used for a couple of other Hashes – though the actual route was new.
With Svens’ (‘Do it yourself’) directions proving accurate down to the nearest centimetre, none of us misplaced the starting point.  33 Hashers (only 3 children this time!) of whom  6  were virgins and one returner in the guise of ‘Barefoot Bob’ back to visit from far distant lands.
‘Fired up’ and ‘On Fire’ were not the only ones so eager to set off that they arrived an hour early.

The briefing
Sven reported that they had seen no snakes but a ‘small elephant’ when the trail was laid by them that morning. The trail was, again, on terrain suitable for the rainy season. A 6-7km route would take us through wooded areas, past many small ponds and fields on good paths. The weather was being particularly kind to us, with no rain and a light cloud cover to reduce the heat. Apart from one little ditch and a few metres of muddy path, there was no reason for anyone to get dirty or wet.  (Bushwacker – did you listen to this?)
Do it Yourself was to act as ‘sweeper’ and collect the usual detritus in the form of lagging Hashers.

On,On
We set off in our usual pattern, a few eager souls running off and a  big clump following.
Very soon, with no FRBs in sight or shouts of ‘On,On’ to help us, it became clear that we might have to make an effort to stay on track. Usually too busy talking to pay much attention – I sometimes wonder if ‘lemmings’ might be an appropriate term to describe the likes of Hashers such as myself and ‘Begging for it’ as it would be easy to imagine us walking blindly off a cliff in mid-sentence -  Sven had to resort to exhorting us to make an effort to ’look for paper’ and ‘follow the paper’. This seemed like a novel but sensible idea. With so many Hash virgins along, it wouldn’t look good for us more experienced Hashers to appear completely clueless.  Peering hopefully at the ground and yelling ‘are we on paper?’ every few minutes seemed to impress those who knew no better.
The scenery was beautiful, lots of shade, lots of tree species, a few remnants of a 1990’s housing project glimpsed upon a hill, a small field of dragon fruit (I suspect this had been heavily cropped by Do it better during the morning’s trail setting as she had lots to offer us to eat post-Hash), and a derelict plane parked in a clearing made for a vey enjoyable event. No one met any elephants, pink or otherwise.

Did anyone stay on course?
This Hash was notable for the many and diverse ways that CRHashers managed to deviate from the ‘true path’. Some of the straying was intentional, some misguided, and some Hashers carried on, unwitting and unaware that they had GONE THE WRONG WAY until some kindly soul (Namron) enlightened them at the Circle. Punishment being swiftly administered in the form of having to down a gassy soft drink.
The Hare signaled one ‘official’ shortcut which a lucky few of us took just after passing the derelict housing – this cut off a few hundred metres. Why ‘lucky’? Because those that were following behind and stayed on the proper trail encountered a pack of dogs ravenous for virgin meat.  No injuries were sustained, thankfully. Forget the stout stick defense, here you need a Tazer. (Must add this to my Christmas ‘wish-list’). Might keep Oddjob under control as well.

A few – including one of our Hares (whom we shall not name and shame on this page, but he was the taller one of the two) – sought to wrest a few minutes off their finishing time by taking another short cut across some rice paddies.  Those of us virtuous Hashers watching their progress from the trail could feel only sympathy as their strides turned to steps and then to desperate fumblings and leaps for firm ground as the paddy walls deteriorated.  The onlookers were definitely on the moral high and dry ground.

Doesn’t Matterhorn and Odd job, reaching a junction, elected to deviate from the trail deliberately and cut off a trip around a lake so they could arrive back in good time. Terrible example from two of our current mis-management committee.

Even Fired Up –one of our usual FRBs – was noted to arrive back from a different direction to everyone else. Ignoring/losing the paper trial and following instincts alone she forged her own path this month.

Whatever route people found, everyone agreed it was a very good Hash.
Able Seaman got back first, with Barefoot Bob in close attendance. The rest of us followed in dribs and drabs.

The missing minutes – what really happened to Shocking?

We had all- we thought- been back for some 10 -15 minutes and were enjoying the usual post-Hash euphoric experience of allowing the sweat to evaporate, eating and drinking  (soundtrack – ‘I will Survive’, Gloria Gaynor) when someone said ‘Where’s Pat?’
Now Sven the Sweeper was back, and no-one could remember when they had last seen our esteemed chairman.  Aghast at the thought of misplacing such a valuable antique, Sven appropriated a motorcycle and set off to look for him.  Shocking arrived back under his own steam shortly afterwards, Sven returning a little later.
No explanation was given by Shocking, at the time, about where he had been. I can now reveal what caused his late return.
It was that phenomenon often encountered in Northern Thailand characterized by inexplicable memory losses and ‘missing time’ – he wandered into a warp in the time/space continuum thingy. One minute he was striding along – he’d been in training – all set for coming in a respectable and remarkable 3^rd place – when everything went wibbly-wobbly and there he was, last again.  Last, but never lost.

The Circle
Thanks were given to the Hares for a splendid Hash, and their complementary T-shirts were presented.
Next month’s Hares (Fired Up and On Fire) performed the customary ‘down,down’.
Virgin hashers were introduced to the delights of the Circle, and Barefoot Bob was welcomed back to the fold.  We hope you enjoyed yourselves and will come back again.
Shocking sold another T-shirt!!!
Early arrivals to the Hash venue were honoured – some of our Hashers show tremendous dedication.
Shocking urged any Hasher who desired to be a Hare next year to ‘get in early’ to avoid disappointment.

The Circle closed and we gradually dispersed into the evening light.

CRH Definition:
’Short Cuts’ Deviation from set trail.
May be encountered on any CRHash under numerous guises; most commonly as:
A deliberate and heinous attempt to reduce time and effort
A Hasher’s excuse for becoming lost and not following paper.
Will accomplish little. Invariably ends in any or all of the following :- getting wet, getting muddy, getting even more lost, getting seen and having to explain your actions in the Circle or your actions revealed in the Hash report.

In terms of Hash crimes it falls somewhere far below that of the FRBs amending a trail to send the pack up and over a hill unnecessarily (a capital offense in my book), and that of the FRBs drinking all the beer before the pack gets back, but above that of arriving at a Hash and deciding you can’t be bothered to actually set off, sitting down and picnicking.

On,On Ooh Matron and Oddjob.

Photos
Photographs of July and Augusts’ Hashes can be found by following this link :
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/view?q=chiangraihhh&psc=G&filter=0#slideshow/5509246900356447362

This change enables us to include more evidence (of your enjoyment), and will also allow any of you who take along your own cameras to add to the gallery.

Driving Instructions for Hash Sat. August 21st

2010-08-17T13:46:00.002+07:00

Here are the instructions how to get to the Chiang Rai Hash Saturday 21st of August 2010.

From Big C go south to first traffic light.

Turn left onto road 1020 towards Thoeng.

Go 3.41 km, you just passed a bridge and had Sinthani 2 on your left side and Sinthani 3 on your right side.

Make a U-turn and go back 630 meters, just before the bridge (same bridge you just drove over a minute ago) you have a road to the left. Take that road. It should be a HHH-sign up there.

Go 490 meter and then take left (should be a HHH-sign there too).

Go 145 meter, over the bridge (this is another bridge, you have not been on this one before!) and park on the other side. NO HHH-sign!

Everyone welcome and we start 15.55 with instructions from the hares and then shotgun-start 1600 sharp!

Virgin Bluce and Wild Woman! If you are late you will miss a very interesting hash!

On, on !

Do It Yourself and Do It Better

The Chiang Rai ‘Start Slowly and Taper Off’ Hash Report no. 81 July 2010

2010-07-22T11:32:00.000+07:00

‘Plooterin aboot’

Venue: Pretty countryside off to the right of the Old Chiang Mai road(Route 1211) between the 17^th and 18^th km. markers.

Hare: Namron

Thirty one of us gathered for the July Hash, 10 young hashers, 2 virgin Hashers from Florida (welcome), and our usual polyglot of nationalities at various peaks and troughs of physical well-being. Ranging from those who could put on their trainers standing up - through the middle level of those who needed to sit down to do so, causing some degree of gastric reflux as they compressed their middle regions, - on to the elite of our group who needed to bend forward when standing to even see their feet and the assistance of a loved one to put their shoes on for them. We cater for everyone.

Early afternoon heavy rain had deterred a few less hardy souls, and the aftermath of a good Friday night may well have rendered one or two Hashers reluctant/unable to countenance anything as energetic as walking. The drop in humidity post-rain, and a slightly later start time of 16.30 hrs meant it was cooler than for our last two Hashes.

While Doesn’t Matterhorn collected the Hash cash, Namron worked out who was able to attend the Buffet meal after the Hash. Information/money gathering sorted, Namron gave us a pre-Hash pep talk.

He promised us a 6 km. route suitable for the slightly inclement weather ( it was still doing a fair attempt at a Scottish drizzle when we gathered), no arduous ascents, and only a few ‘checks’, one of which was described as ‘tricky’. His clue for this one was ‘think corn’. Huh! more about this later.

We set off, some of us sheltering under (um)brollies, others brazenly braving the elements. Within a few minutes the rain had stopped and we enjoyed the rest of the Hash under slowly lightening skies, the sun finally showing up to light the way home.

The FRBs took off, going so fast I didn’t even see them go.

Most of the route was over hard-packed red earth paths, rendered slightly slippery by the rain, especially in areas where there was a covering of leaves. Mud had been promised by Namron in his briefing, and we were not disappointed. For short distances we went slipping and sliding, squelching and splashing, plootering aboot in the mud. Not enough to delight a hippo looking for a wallow, but enough to ensure our immaculate trainers and gleaming calves were rendered in red and grey speckle.

Reaching one check point we were given assistance. “Don’t go that way” said the Hare, who had been drinking from the bottle marked ‘human kindness’, “that’s to slow the FRBs down”, and it did. Apparently we had been spared a steep slippery ascent and descent that took the FRBs in a circle and cost them much time and effort. They caught up with us only as we waited at…..

The longest ‘check’ in CRH history

Following the route into a narrowing valley, we reached a check point. The way ahead looked promising, the scrambling path to the left looked less inviting and went sharply up a hill, but, hey this was Namron’s course, surely we would be due a little pain? The way to the right through the field and up?

Nope. No paper. No paper anywhere. Don’t panic. Do what we do best. (Since it was the first time many in the rear walking crew had been at the front of the pack and had to actually check for paper.)

The Hash Pack performed the classic Hash defensive manoeuvre of standing around looking interested but hopeless, waiting for inspiration and someone else’s perspiration to lead the way. There is always someone willing to put in more effort than we can aspire to, and in this case it was Wi, Peter, Bruce, Sven and Mark and Ian who did the necessary running around. Crops of corn in every single direction rendered Namron’s clue of ‘think corn’ as unbelievably useless.

While we waited around hoping the Hare acting as sweeper would turn up and point us again in the right direction, Hashers retraced already checked routes to no avail. After about 10-15 minutes, with the Hash pack standing around muttering, and looking increasingly like a herd of Musk ox in a defensive circle, with the searchers (the wolves) orbiting in increasingly desperate circles, someone eventually twigged that a check could be in any direction –including straight back the way we had come. Sure enough, 100 metres back, the trail went off to the right. Off sped the FRBs not to be seen again until we got back to base.

Breaking out of our defensive formation, the Hash pack set off again.

The route took us past some Hill tribe villagers in a newish looking settlement of wooden houses on stilts, with a slightly out- of- place looking brick church. They gazed in apparent bemusement at us – what were all these strangers doing walking, surely they could afford cars or motorcys?

The mystery of why the Hare hadn’t come to our assistance when we had been stuck at the tricky check became clear on the way back. He had lingered to re-lay the trail, as the latter part of the course doubled back to cover part of our starting route. A fine steady pace took us home in comfort.

FRBs

First in was Sven ,then Wi and then Able Seaman, now supposedly officially retired from active service, but putting many of us comparative youngsters to shame. Well done everyone, especially as you all covered a fair greater distance than us.

The Circle

After quaffing our post-Hash snack of beer, soft drinks and crisps – just enough to keep a hungry hasher (and Bushwacker and an opportunistic white hen) going till the buffet – we were called into a circle.

Watching, with bemusement, were our two new recruits, from USA. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make sense to any of us, no matter how many times we come along.

Failing to flog any T-shirts this month despite a hard sales pitch, Shocking (our Chairman) moved on to thanking the Hare. This being Namron, renowned as a setter of killer routes, we had all been pleasantly surprised by the course. It was suitable for the weather, it wasn’t arduous, and it was in very pretty countryside, that we were left with enough breathe to enjoy. I resheathed my mythical scimitar, he was safe, pep-talk promises had been kept.
Hares – with a tiny little bit of arm-twisting, Doesn’t Matterhorn was given the opportunity to be the hare for October. We now have Hares allocated till next year. Thank you all.
A naming ceremony was required as we had 4 more Hashers to add to the Roll of Honour. Those who had stayed the course, shown true resilience and turned up for 3 Hashes had to have this achievement marred marked.

Kodi, spawn of Namron and brother of ‘Ranger’ became ‘Buffalo Bill.’ Their adventurous friend Nakkarin suggested his own name as ‘No Name’, and Michael and his girlfriend (Da?) - who had managed to find the starting point despite not knowing how to decipher those tricky Km. markers - became ‘Special Services’ (her, a Nurse) and ‘Special Needs’ (him).

‘Special Services’ struggled to finish her drink in time to for the end of the ‘downing song’ but Shocking did not –unlike at last month’s Hash- assist by finishing it off for the struggling Hasher. Could this have had something to do with it being a soft drink she was downing, not a beer?? True gallantry should know no bounds, Shocking, we expect you to sacrifice yourself.

The Circle was kept brief as a buffet awaited.

Hares for the rest of the year are:

August- Do it yourself and Do it Better

Sept. – Fired up

October – Doesn’t Matterhorn

November- Gorf and Able Seaman

December- Wirgin Bruce and Wild Woman

Photos of the event are attached.

On, on OoohMatron and Oddjob.

N.B.

For the benefit of any of our growing group of young Hashers who may be reading this, Oddjob has dared to suggest a few truly awful old jokes. If you have better ones – in Thai or English – let me know at the next Hash.

These are Oddjob’s best :

‘ Where can you find a tortoise with no legs?”

Answer: “Wherever you left it’.

‘Where do elephants sleep?’

Answer: ‘Wherever they want to.”

Why do flamingoes stand on one leg?’

Answer:’ Because if they lifted the other, they’d fall over”.

‘Why do cows wear bells around their necks?’

Answer: “Because their horns don’t work’

Sorry.

July 17th Driving Directions

2010-07-14T17:37:00.002+07:00

This month's hash will start at 4:30 pm sharp on the 17th. Park between the 17 and 18 km markers on the Old Chiang Mai Rd (rt. 1211). The route will be fine rain or shine but if raining bring a change of clothes and shoes. If you are interested in a buffet on-on, let me know jbclair at yahoo.com. It will be a restaurant on the Old Chiang Mai Rd, 12 km back towards the city. I estimate 100-150 baht per head for adults.

From Big C: Drive South on the superhighway approx 15 km until you come to a traffic signal and turn right. Go past Wat Rong Kun and follow the road until you come to the old Chiang Mai Rd (approx 5 km.) Turn left and go approx 6 km and look for an HHH sign on your right.

Chiang Rai ‘Start slowly and taper off’ Hash Report No. 80 June 2010/2053

2010-07-14T17:35:00.002+07:00

Venue: Chiang Rai Beach.

Hares: Hard-wired (+ Pee) and Begging for it

Our Chairman Shocking (Pat) welcomed us all to bucket and spade country. It was another hot and sticky afternoon in Northern Thailand, but this trail promised us a little more shade than May’s Hash. There were 37 of us, with a very good turnout of 9 young Hashers, some so young that it may be necessary for Hash Cash to ask ‘Beer, soft drinks or milk?’ at future hashes. The Powder puff girls, Swiss Roll, and Shocking and Namron’s youngsters being some of our pack less troubled by advancing age.

Hard Wired and Begging for it were the official Hares and gave the briefing. With one or two late additions being added, the trail was approximately 7 Km in length, though if you forgo a detour around temple grounds you could knock off about 15 minutes worth of walking. Total anticipated completion time for a ‘normal’ CRHasher being 1hour 45 mins.

Only 2 Hashers took off running, Gorf and Doesn’t Matterhorn. The remainder of the pack paced themselves. With the FRBs already out of sight by the time we’d been uprooted and got to an upright position, it looked like there was little point in exerting ourselves too much. Anyway the trail promised plenty of flat ground and smooth paths to allow for that most important aspect of the CRH to take place – we could concentrate on conversation, not on finding the next foothold.

There was a little disagreement about where the initial trail went, this was due to the Hares’ system of setting the trail. Their labour-saving method of throwing thimblefuls of paper out from the back of a pick-up at 20 km/hr rendered the paper trail very thin on the ground. Not many helpful piles of paper today, we were on starvation rations. However, once on the right trail it was on such good paths that not even Tony the Lonely could have got lost.

After finding 5 different ways down to the sandy shore of the mighty NamKok, through the ever hopeful Beachfront food stallholders’ tables, and ignoring their kind offers of refreshments, we reunited as a horde and slogged off to the left along the beach. Bushwacker took full advantage of that wonderful combination of sun, ‘sea’ and sand – and a big stick that his boss kept throwing into the river for him.

Leaving the beach front we travelled on smooth paths past the fishing lakes complete with swan paddle boats. Here, I feel an opportunity had been missed; an armada of Hashers crossing the lake by pedal power, at the helms our intrepid captains just back from pirating on another body of water. What an adventure that would have been. Those of us who wear extra large Hash T-shirts would have had the advantage of wind-assisted sails.

The Hares had provided us with a treat to make up for this omission, however. They had got permission from the local temple, Wat Phra That Tham Doi Kong Khao, to allow us access to their grounds which let us enjoy a circular path around the base of the temple hill with it’s splendid cliffs and shaded areas. One cliff face came complete with a massive Hornets nest and a wild bee hive. We stood well back to admire these.

Everyone was keeping up a good pace despite the heat. The trail then took us briefly onto a road – where a couple of hashers sensibly restocked on liquids at a shop - before heading in a homeward direction past some very desiccated looking paddy fields. No verdant green patch- work to please the eye yet. Hurry up rains. The pack, split up a bit by pace, passed the old quarry, braved the nasty dogs and then went over the monsoon drain with a dribble of water in the bottom to get back to the beach via a small housing estate.

The usual very fast walkers ( VFWs not FRBs) including Titanic and Do it Yourself were back some time ahead of the main group.

Shocking came in well up the field, failing miserably to hold onto his historically acquired position of ‘sweeper’. Better luck next time.

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe….. the FRBs had been busy.

Gorf had apparently had time to acquire a partner and baby, complete the entire run twice AND ascend the temple hill in the time it took for most of us to get back to base in our reality. Doesn’t Matterhorn was not exactly a sluggard either.

The Circle

Shocking (Pat) managed eventually to get sufficient numbers of us to pay attention and form a fairly relaxed approximation of a circle i.e. we stayed where we’d landed but sort of turned towards him.

He called the Hares into the circle and thanked them for their sterling efforts, and for the provisions of fresh fruit.

All three of them being ‘virgin Hares’ they had enjoyed the experience of finding and setting a trail, and were encouraging of other novices to come forward and try it for themselves. It was a very enjoyable Hash, well suited for the current weather conditions.

A number of Hashers were given their Hash names:

Breaking all the rules (and why not), the first to receive her name had carefully selected it herself, so we welcomed ‘Winnie the Pooh’ into the circle.

The next Hasher was originally from Japan, but came to Thailand via USA. There were lots of suggestions, including one that alluded to his previous occupation as a ‘fake crab meat producer’, but the name that was eventually selected was ‘The Lost Samurai’.

Then – and I could have sworn they were pushed – into the circle came our last couple. Wearing a ‘Batman’ T-shirt, there were promptly re-named as “Badman’ and ‘Bobbin’.

5 ‘Virgin” Hashers were welcomed. One lady Hasher, obviously not yet immune to the demon drink, struggled to ‘down’ hers. After we had sung several verses of ‘drink it down, down, down’ at ever slower a tempo and she was still only on her second mouthful/burp, she was saved by the gallantry of our chairman. To spare her blushes (and prevent wastage) he quaffed the residue on her behalf. Such courtesy and self-sacrifice are seldom seen these days.
Titanic and Wirgin Bruce were welcomed back from their adventures on the high seas where they had narrowly avoided a mid sea collision with a container ship in the Caribbean. We were pleased to see they had found their land legs again and both had completed the trail in good time. Bruce was also complimented on his ‘Shakespearean’ qualities when he was CRH scribe for many years. The current scribes were likened to J.K Rowling – I think this means our reports are long-winded, lacking in factual matter and have a poor grasp on reality. Apt description.
Namron is going to be July’s Hare, he has promised to ‘moderate’ his trail to reflect the C.R Hashers’ capabilities. Thank goodness for that.

Business being completed and the mosquitoes out in ferocious force, we were sent off home into the gloaming.

Next meeting= 3^rd Saturday of July at 4pm. Details to follow. Hare = Namron.

CRH committee:

Chairman – “Shocking”Pat

Hash Cash – “Doesn’t Matterhorn” Peter

Hash Beer – Titanic

Scribes – Ooh Matron (Jan) and Oddjob (Terry)

Namron (Jeff) maintains our official website at Chiang Rai Hash House Harriers, where you can find details of past and present Hashes, and information on other ‘local’ Hashevents.

Don’t forget to look at the rogues’ gallery of attached photos.

Finally ….

An attempt at a triathlon? Or ‘ How your trusty scribe managed to prove yet again that she’s two sandwiches short of a picnic’.

This being a truthful account of my June Hash outing, I wish to confess to the following …

After traversing the temple grounds, we emerged into a familiar landscape. Using dog-walking knowledge, I suggested to my companions a short-cut across the fields to pick up the trail again by the disused quarry and cut off some road work. This idea was seized upon with surprising zeal by Angela (especially as she was one of today’s Hares) and another Hasher. Since he was new to CRhash, we should take the blame for leading him off the straight and narrow.

Unfortunately, having clambered up and down ditch sides (who’d removed the blooming bamboo bridge?), we were spotted rejoining the trail by the sanctimoniously smug Oddjob in the company of Shocking and Wirgin Bruce, wagging ‘naughty, naughty’ fingers at us. Still, we’d gained at least 10 seconds. These 3 steamed away at a far greater rate of knots than we could achieve, leaving us wallowing in their wake. It was as though Bruce still had a following wind. As we fell further and further behind, a devilish idea took root. Why not grab the bikes from home as the return trail took us virtually past our house through the twilight zone of the Country Homes estate. We’d show them.

The bikes got us as far as 150 metres from the house before we realized 2 tyres had punctures. No problem, I would head back and get the truck.

Now here, any sensible person amongst you, gentle readers, will think, ‘Why didn’t she just take the bikes back that short distance, and carry on the trail on foot?’

No, the heat had got to me – and to a lesser extent must have also affected my companions, as they went along with what then transpired.

Back to the house, get truck. Drive truck to bikes/Hashers. Heave bikes onto truck. Drive slowly (albeit in air conditioned comfort towards the beach, sipping ice cold cokes.) Spot proper, morally upright, Hashers on road, drive excruciatingly slowly behind them to as near the meeting point as possible. Stop truck just out of sight of everyone, unload heavy useless bikes and –feigning a casual manner- push aforementioned ‘useless’ transportation to the end.

So there you have it, 3 modes of transport, a C.R.Hash triathlon.

It seemed a good idea at the time.

And Oddjob still got there before me.

DIRECTIONS FOR CHAINGRAI HASH 19TH JUNE

2010-06-15T08:42:00.000+07:00

Starting from Big C, head NORTH up the Super Highway.

At the first lights (Sri Sai Mun intersection) turn left.

Stay on this road for approx 6 Kilometres ( Just keep going straight)

After approx 6 Kilometres .on this road you will see a large sign on your right saying CHAINGRAI BEACH

On your left HHH sign turn left for 200 metres then turn right HHH sign

START 4:00PM PROMPT

Hares -----Begging for it

Hard wired

Dont forget your bucket and spade

May Hash Report no:79

2010-06-01T08:43:00.000+07:00

15th May 2010/2053 Bang Hong O Area ,west of C.R. town.

‘Rather warm’

We had set the trail in the morning. A balmy 38.C.  By the time 4pm came round it was a sweltering hot afternoon (104.F for the benefit of any ‘oldies’ amongst us, humidity 60%) and who’d be mad enough to turn out in that heat… well… 39 Hashers and one dog were. Perhaps it was the promise of ‘no hills’ that did it. I thought no one would be there, and with the excuse of recovering from an infection, harnessed myself to a fan for the afternoon, leaving Oddjob to manage alone.  He, as sweeper, got to walk the course twice. Brownie points have been allocated.

After a course briefing, the starting pistol cracked and a number of FRBs ran off into the distance. Gorf, followed by Just Steve completed the course in an amazing 45 minutes. Since it had taken us an hour to cycle round on one of our reconnaissance runs, it’s obvious we need to upgrade our bikes.
The more (sensible) Hashers set off at a much more sedate pace, with the last ones coming in after 1hour 45mins. The Hash trail took us , after a rather less than salubrious start past a ‘fly’ rubbish  tip, over some gently rolling countryside to the west of Chiang Rai town, a fairly new rubber and fruit plantation, with a mix of natural and man-made lakes. A four legged Hasher enjoyed the benefit of these on the way round. There were views of the Reclining Woman Hill at Mae Yao, the White Buddha at Doi in Cee, and Doi Khao Kwai, all from the safety of low altitude.  Wild Woman appeared to appreciate the scenery.

5 v-checks were set to slow down the front runners, and, reportedly, worked well. Oddjob had ‘failed’ to mention at the briefing that our course would take you close to a very large working quarry. At quarter to five, when half the hillside was blasted off, those Hashers nearby didn’t know whether to dive for cover or run for it.  Ahh! Simple pleasures.

The extreme heat took it’s toll on a few, and the sweeper led a small party of wilting ones on a short cut to take them into the middle of the Hash group again.  If only they had been a bit more discreet, they might have got away without anyone noticing.
Able Seaman, after completing the course, turned up in his truck to offer a lift back to those who were finding it too much, and a small number gratefully accepted.
He commented to Oddjob later on that he nearly hadn’t come along as he thought that the course would be too easy, as it was, however, with the weather, it turned out to be ‘about 6km too long’.  Here we should confess that when we originally set the course it was only 6km long, but bits just kept getting added, and it ended up about 7.5 km in length. So well done everyone for finishing.

By the time OddJob got back in with the last few, lychees and drinks were being consumed in great numbers.

The Circle

Shocking called us to form a circle, and virgin hashers (? number) were given the traditional welcome.
Two Hashers received their Hash names. A combination of fatigue – well earned- and Shocking’s scouse accent rendered OddJob at a loss as to what, precisely, these were. He thinks the following information may hold an element of truth:
The better half of ‘McMuff’ was given the name of ‘Spicy pri(c)k sauce’, and the second lady whose Thai nickname is Hom which means pleasant smelling received the hash name ‘ Hom noi’ which translates to ‘a small sweet smelling spot’.
As I’m sure you appreciate by now – unlike in Wirgin Bruce’s reports – accuracy, reliability and honesty haven’t had a starring role since he handed over the scribes’ baton to us.
Which reminds me – apologies to Able Seaman are due – apparently it was a 10 baht coin, not a paltry 5.
Shocking sold more of our splendid Hash T-shirts.  “There’s a five year guarantee with each one’  he said,  ‘if not completely satisfied, you’re more than welcome to ask for your money back’.
Asking and getting ,however, are two different things.  The Hares also received their complementary ones.

Do it Yourself, back in his former post for one month only as ‘Hash Beer’ was thanked. It was ‘the highlight of his career’ he stated, eyeing up the possibility of leftovers as ‘thank you’ gifts.

Plastic cups were not used for the downers, the bottoms of some empty plastic water bottles were hastily cut off instead to use as drinking vessels.  From what you know of ourHash, which of the following is the most likely reason?
It was because:
A. It was felt we should be more environmentally friendly and recycle.
B. Someone forgot the cups.

Hares for the following months were confirmed.
June – Hard wired and Begging for it
July – Namron
August – Do it Yourself
September – Fired Up
October  - ???????
November – Gorf and Able Seaman. This promises to be a grand event with the Hares setting a trail in celebration of Gorf’s marriage. Hashers from even further afield than usual are anticipated to be coming along.

Thank you all for volunteering.  We certainly enjoyed our first venture into trail setting, so much so that we’re already looking out another one! OddJob reckons there’s money to be made. If you lay the trail, you also know the shortcuts. A few extra baht could come his way for showing these to exhausted Hashers.

Hope to see you all next month.
On,On! OohMatron and Oddjob

Housekeeping
A concerned Hasher reported that he had spotted a small number of Hashers throwing their empty water bottles into ditches/ onto the ground during this month’s Hash.  This is not what is expected from C.R.Hashers..  If you can be bothered to carry a full bottle, then surely it’s not too much to ask to carry your empty one back to base.  Please.

Directions to May 15th Hash

2010-05-10T15:45:00.001+07:00

When : Saturday 15^th May at 16:00 prompt.

Where : Ban Hong O water tower

Hares : Oddjob and Oohmatron

Distance 6 km

Type of terrain Flat – (no hills), with broad paths.

Very little natural shade.
Coordinates: +19° 54' 7.88", +99° 46' 40.97"

Directions.

Starting from Big C, head north up the Super Highway.

At the first lights (Si Sai Mun intersection) turn left.

Stay on this road through three sets of traffic lights, the last set being the Den Ha crossroads.

1.3 km after the Den Ha crossroads turn left at a small parade of shops – sign posted to Mae Fah Luang Art and Cultural Park.

After 100 metres turn right at the “T” junction and proceed past the entrance to Mae Fah Luang Art and Cultural Park (on left hand side). Set your trip meter to zero here.

After 1.5 km you will be at the top of a small hill and approaching Ban Hong O – get ready to slow down.

500 meters after the Ban Hong O welcome sign turn left onto Soi 1. Signposted with a standard “HHH” marker.

After a further 400 meters stop at the water tower.

A small map is attached for boy scouts and girl guides.

On on

Oddjob and Oohmatron